Internet dating: isn’t it fun? It can be if know how to have fun with it. Don’t just sit back and wait for people to contact you. If you are male or female (especially if you’re female) reach out and contact the people you find attractive. It’s a whole different world of dating today. What I tell my clients is to think of Internet dating like a huge single’s party. Let’s say you were looking around the room and someone caught your eye. You could never be sure who noticed whom first. Maybe the other person had been checking you out seconds earlier. The thing is to hook that other person’s attention and create a spark so they he or she will want to talk to you. It’s the same with the Internet. All you want to do is get the other person’s attention and make them want to know more.
Let’s take a look at a couple of examples of introductory emails that my best friend and I sent to some promising candidates that got immediate responses.
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Hello Aussie Guy,
How’d you wind up in good old LA? You are absolutely adorable. I see that you like “all things about being a man.” I love all things about you being a man, too. And I can be quite a woman under the right circumstances. I also like what you said about helping each reach greater potential together. Although I have already reached my greatest potential at the ripe old age of 34, I can always help you get there . No really, life is great at this end and would be even better shared with the right someone.
Would love to hear from you if you think we’re a match!
*(Name has been changed to protect the not-so-innocent)
Hi Guy Without Headline,
You are so cute, but not too cute! (That’s a compliment.) I am not a fashionista, so if that’s what you’re looking for, keep going! But I have all the other things on your list. I understand that you love art and architecture. I grew up around the stuff but don’t know who’s who. I would love for you to teach me more. I am always open to learning and love an intelligent man who expand my world. Is that you?
Why were her emails so effective? Because she knows how to “hook” a man’s attention.
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Let’s see how:
Hook #1: Create Sparks: Chloe creates a kind of playful tension right from the very start. ”Hey Aussie Guy!” Her first line is bold and provocative. She says things a lot of people would think but not say, like the line about having already reached her potential at the age of 34. There is something intriguing about a person who would do that. People love people who challenge them.
Hook #2: Flatter them: She shows that she read their profiles. She relates to what they said but not in an “Oh Look We Both Like to Hike” kind of way. Again, she makes it funny, confident, and provocative. “I’m not a fashionista, so if that’s what you’re looking for, keep going!”