How To Get Married

I spotted two of my former clients among the crowd.  Both looked stunning.  I chatted with one of them briefly.  We exchanged a couple of quick kisses on the cheek and some “Hihowareyous?”  The very next words out of her mouth were, “There’s absolutely nothing happening on the man front.”  My heart sank.  I know how hard it must have been for her to admit this, especially at the wedding of a close friend.  Then she excused herself, saying, “We’ll talk more later,” but I knew we wouldn’t speak again.

Then, I walked over to get a Perrier, but before I could join the line, my other former client waved me over.  Next to the bride, she was the most stunning woman in the room.  Her long dark hair had been swept up into a chignon and she was wearing a black evening gown with rhinestones and cutouts fit for the Oscars.  “You look gorgeous!” I exclaimed.  “How have you been?” “I haven’t met a man, if that’s what you mean” she confessed.  “I’ve decided that I’m done looking.  If it’s going to happen it will happen.”  I smiled sympathetically, trying to let her know I understood.  She invited another single friend to join the conversation and they both stood there lamenting how impossible it is to find a good man in Los Angeles.  Soon I found myself talking to another rather angry single woman who told me over and over again what a great catch she was and how she couldn’t believe she hadn’t met someone.  

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I walked to the edge of the room and searched for some single men, but couldn’t find any.  Not one.  Every man there seemed to be with a woman.  Here were all these attractive women telling me that they couldn’t find men in LA who were willing to commit, but every man in the room was with someone.  Only the women were single.

At dinner, I sat next to another single friend of the bride. She was a sassy professional in her mid-fifties.  I liked her immediately.   She felt honest and real to me.  When she found out I was a dating coach she told me her story.  “I never wanted to get married,” she said.  “I just wanted to have fun.  I knew I was picking all the wrong guys but, hey, I liked bad boys.  I had my three kids on my own and am raising them by myself.  It’s hard, but it’s what I wanted.”  I couldn’t tell if this was really what she wanted or if she had just convinced herself that this is what she wanted.

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When everyone at my table got up to dance, I sat there thinking.  A lot of people today aren’t finding true love until later in life, and the journey to get there can seem long and hard.  I know how this feels.  I didn’t meet my current husband until I was in my early forties.  It was challenging and there were times when I wondered if it would ever happen, but I never gave up.