How To Get Married
By Lisa Shield. Posted on .
When people come to me for dating advice, what they really want to know is how to get married. A couple weeks ago, I attended the wedding of one of my funniest, feistiest, and most opinionated clients. I remember that we butted heads many times during in our six months of coaching. I don’t know if she ever fully embraced the concept of Naked Dating, but I hope something sank in.
More from YourTango: WHAT DATING COACHING CAN DO FOR YOU
Naked Dating is my approach to attracting true love. It shows how to use dating as the catalyst to bring up any blocks or behaviors that are in the way of finding a partner and then gives you the tools to work through them. The theory is that if you keep going on dates but you don’t make changes, nothing is going to change. I am not so certain this client ever agreed with much of what I said, but she stayed in touch long after she quit coaching, so I can only assume that I did something right.
When I received an email from her saying that she’d met someone and that they were engaged, I was stunned. It appeared that she’d finally met the man of her dreams and they would be married and start having kids within a few months. We hadn’t been in constant contact, but it all seemed to be happening rather suddenly. I later learned that she and her hubby-to-be were old friends who had reconnected through Facebook. From what she told me, he was recently divorced and had agreed to move to LA to be with her. He knew that she was forty-two and that she wanted to start a family—immediately. She hadn’t hidden a thing.
I received an invitation to the wedding. Probably shouldn’t admit this being a dating coach and all, but I don’t love weddings. I’m a big fan of marriage. Even enjoy wedding ceremonies, but don’t love the festivities afterward. Still, it’s flattering to be invited.
More from YourTango: SINGLES STATS THAT MAY SHOCK YOU
This was one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve attended in a long time. The décor was elegant and understated—all red roses and white satin. The rabbi seemed very likeable and down-to-earth—he didn’t try to put on a show like some officiates do. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway: nothing could have upstaged this gorgeous bride. It was her show and everyone knew it—including the groom.
At forty-two, she’d never been never married. Everyone attending knew how long she’d waited and how hard she’d worked to make this happen. I don’t think that there was one person there who didn’t respect her tenacity or her sense of humor. She always managed to step back and find something to laugh about. Much of the time it was at herself. Maybe this was her saving grace. No matter what went on, she’d managed to keep laughing, all the way to the altar.
As we all mingled after the wedding, I found myself looking at the prettiest groups of people I’d seen in a long time. The invitation had read black tie optional, but everyone was dressed to the nines. The men looked dapper in their dark suits and most of the women had carted out their floor-length evening gowns. I had rushed to get dressed after working all day and was just grateful that I’d worn black and blended in. Phew!
