Each of us has a picture of our ideal mate. I bet he is handsome, witty, a good listener, has a good sense of humor and is successful in his career! What if the last part of the “successful in his career” was missing? Would you be interested in this guy? What if he was successful until recently and now he is out of work? Would you give this guy the time of day?
Now what would you look for? My dating advice is to look at how the guy is handling the “break” in his career. Is he sitting home, wallowing in self-pity or is he being proactive by setting up informational interviews, networking and learning new skills to become more competitive in the job market? And what if the man is self-employed? You would not really know if the guy is in good financial shape unless he shared this infomation. (If he is self-employed you could find out if there are any law-suits pending for this person since it would be public record.)
Is the man being financially responsible? Has he cut down on his expenses and seem prudent with his money? Does he have a good amount savings to support himself in this job/career transition? These would be good traits instead of bad ones. I often hear my single friends complain that many men are cheap. What you you offer to take off the financial burden of someone? I know many men take themselves off the dating scene if they are not working because they can’t easily afford the cost of dating. Would you be willing to pitch in for the cost of the date or offer to cook some meals?
Are you willing to change your perspective on who would be a good prospect? Your unemployed love interest may be just around the corner from his next great job or business opportunity. How you support him in his endeavors speaks volumes about what kind of partner you would be.
My relationship advice is how you handle tough (economic) times is one of the most important tests of a serious relationship. Being an understanding and supportive partner shows your love relationship that you are in it for the long haul. My husband Alan was there for me when I was going throughtough times with my clothing boutique during 9-11. I found in hime someone I could count on during tough times. That meant a lot to me.
Who are you looking for in a serious relationship? Would you be willing to look beyond the superficial “what do you do” and look at “who are you as a person” and not let this be a big relationship issue? Do you need a shift in a perspective about who would make a good love partner for you?
This inquiring relationship coach wants to know!
This article was originally published at
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