Who are you Willing to Date?


Who are you Willing to Date?
Dating in a Tough Economy

Each of us has a picture of our ideal mate. I bet he is handsome, witty, a good listener, has a good sense of humor and is successful in his career! What if the last part of the “successful in his career” was missing? Would you be interested in this guy? What if he was successful until recently and now he is out of work? Would you give this guy the time of day?

Now what would you look for? My dating advice is to look at how the guy is handling the “break” in his career. Is he sitting home, wallowing in self-pity or is he being proactive by setting up informational interviews, networking and learning new skills to become more competitive in the job market? And what if the man is self-employed? You would not really know if the guy is in good financial shape unless he shared this infomation. (If he is self-employed you could find out if there are any law-suits pending for this person since it would be public record.)

Is the man being financially responsible? Has he cut down on his expenses and seem prudent with his money? Does he have a good amount savings to support himself in this job/career transition? These would be good traits instead of bad ones. I often hear my single friends complain that many men are cheap. What you you offer to take off the financial burden of someone? I know many men take themselves off the dating scene if they are not working because they can’t easily afford the cost of dating. Would you be willing to pitch in for the cost of the date or offer to cook some meals?

Are you willing to change your perspective on who would be a good prospect? Your unemployed love interest may be just around the corner from his next great job or business opportunity. How you support him in his endeavors speaks volumes about what kind of partner you would be.

My relationship advice is how you handle tough (economic) times is one of the most important tests of a serious relationship. Being an understanding and supportive partner shows your love relationship that you are in it for the long haul. My husband Alan was there for me when I was going throughtough times with my clothing boutique during 9-11. I found in hime someone I could count on during tough times. That meant a lot to me.

Who are you looking for in a serious relationship? Would you be willing to look beyond the superficial “what do you do” and look at “who are you as a person” and not let this be a big relationship issue? Do you need a shift in a perspective about who would make a good love partner for you?

This inquiring relationship coach wants to know!


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Coach Amy Schoen


Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC


Illuminating Your Path to Finding Lasting Love

I work with marriage minded individuals who are ready to take charge of their dating efforts and learn a system of how to meet people who share their values so that they can find the right one and have the family life they so desire.

Location: Rockville, MD
Credentials: MBA
Other Articles/News by Coach Amy Schoen:

"Too Old" To Find Love? Don't Worry, You've Still Got It


Ladies, why is it that the older we get, the harder it is for us to jump back into the dating scene? Regardless of whether our game plan is to settle down after we find Mr. Right or have fun with Mr. Right Now, it's almost as if we're expected to turn the lights off after we hit a certain age. if you've ever found yourself hesitating from putting ... Read more

7 Ways That Dating For Marriage Differs From Casual Dating


One of my clients, Mindy, has never been married. Mindy, in her late 30‘s, has been dating and been in several relationships off and on for most of her adult life. When she started coaching with me she was in relationship with a professional man in his early 40’s for about two years and was hoping to bring it to the next level of commitment, ... Read more

How to be Romantic: Your Simple Romance Primer


February 14th is Valentine’s Day in the US. If you are fortunate to have a special mate or partner in your life then, this is the time of year, men and women are called to open up their romance valve. For many, this has not been truly activated due to a full and active life where they have the feeling that there is little time to be romantic. For a select ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.