Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

When Is It Time To Meet With A Dating Coach?

What keeps people from taking the steps to working with a professional and get relationship advice?

I ran into an acquaintance I haven’t seen in at least 15 years that I knew from when I was single again in my mid to late 30’s. She is still single and never married and must be in her late 40’s or early 50’s by now. I have always known her to be friendly, warm, smart and attractive. However, for some reason she has not yet connected with the right life partner.

Do you know what she said to me? …..

She told me, “I should have worked with you ten years ago!”

Then I started to think about what keeps people from taking that step to working with a professional and get the relationship advice that has proven results?

This is the list that I came up with:

1. The Shame or Embarrassment of Needing Help

You shouldn’t have to get help in this area of your life. Finding love is just supposed to happen. That’s what happens in the movies or with your parents and friends -right? Yet, you are willing to hire a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a speech therapist and image consultant, an accountant or bookkeeper. Actually, when it comes to seeking relationship advice in order to have a romantic, solid connected relationship, most of us don’t have the skills or knowledge that we need to give us the best chance of success.

I sought out the relationship advice of a dating coach when I was in my late 30’s after a failed marriage. I found myself on the dating merry-go-round and frustrated with the men that I was choosing. I needed some “tweaking” of my approach and challenges to my limiting beliefs. As a result I started attracting better, more marriage minded men.

2. The Cost of the Service (Fear of Wasting Your Money)

What if you spend all this time and money and you still don’t have a special person in your life? Then what? People expect results for their money. Are there tangible results from working with a dating coach?

The investment of working with a life and relationship coach will show returns many times over in your personal and work life. My clients feel more confident about their life choices and have tools to help them stay focused on what really matters to them. People are surprised how reasonable my coaching rates are when you compare it to comparable professional services.

I also provide affordable self learning online coaching programs of my dating relationship system to finding true love that you can invest in for as little as $197.00 for my 6 module Successful Internet Dating Program (http://www.SuccessfulInternetDatingProgram.com with bonuses!). I share the same relationship advice, knowledge and insights that I impart to my private VIP clients. I show you the exact same process I use to make the necessary changes to your profile or help you start dating online for the first time.

It all comes down to whether you are willing to invest in yourself for your future happiness. I see people who really want to be in relationship spend their money on lavish trips instead of investing in life and relationship coaching that would serve them best for the long haul and their life goals.

3. The Time You Need to Devote to Working with The Professional (“I don’t have time!”)

Finding the right relationship needs to be top of mind and a high priority in your life. Then you will make the time for this endeavor. My clients are busy people and together we find the right avenues for them to be spending their time, energy and financial resources. And most importantly, a potential partner wants to know that you have time for them.

My husband Alan and I went on one date five years before we really started dating and he never asked me out again for a second date at that time because he viewed me as being too busy. However, he never gave me a chance to explain that I do make time for what is truly important in my life. Life is about choices. Think about what impression you are giving to your date.

Also, what are you busy with in your life and how will you make space for a relationship? I am a big believer in what you focus on (ie. Spend your time on) is where you will have the greatest chance for achievement- Just as you do to move up the career ladder by making a transition to a new career or working towards a promotion where you are; or to commit to a weight loss program and show up weekly to weigh in; or learn a new skill or sport or a new language. To achieve your goals all these endeavors take time, attention and practice!

4. Not Knowing Who to Work With: Coaching versus a Dating Service?

You do have a lot of choices out there with regards to dating services. I recommend you find a qualified, trained person who has a proven track record. Also, when working with a relationship life coach, you will get the information you need BEFORE you would work with other dating services or a matchmaker.

When you look at the numbers with regards to matchmakers. I only know two people (And I know a lot of people!) who met their partners/spouses through a matchmaker. One is now divorced. I do know countless people who met their mates through online dating, especially with the approach that I take my clients through. (See my success stories at http://www.motivatedtomarry.com/success-stories)

At times I do recommend a matchmaker for those clients who fit their narrow, specific profile. In my Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets Coaching Program, I give you a checklist of questions to ask a Matchmaker BEFORE you sign up and spend the thousands of dollars they require.

So how precious is your time? I wish I could have worked with the women I described earlier – she would probably be married with a child instead of still reluctantly going to singles events. Now, in her late 40’s, her options have changed if she still wants to have children (and the are very costly, let me tell you from personal experience).

The smart people seek my relationship advice and insights sooner than later. The advice and information I provide to my clients is invaluable. It literally changes their lives for the better.

If you want to see if Dating and Relationship Coaching is right fit for you, let’s have a conversation about that. Ask yourself, “What relationship situation do you want to be in a year from now?” and “What action are you willing to take to help you achieve your goals?” And last, “What is holding you back from getting the help you need and deserve?”

This article was originally published at Motivated to Marry. Reprinted with permission from the author.

From our Partners

Explore YourTango

MOST POPULAR