Watch out for jumping to conclusions in dating relationships

By Coach Amy Schoen. Posted on Nov 5th 2012.

It seems that in your early dating relationships, you consider someone guilty until proven innocent.

It seems that in your early dating relationships, unlike our justice system, you consider someone guilty until proven innocent. I have seen many examples of this with my clients in situations where my client would jump to a negative conclusion in their dating relationships and almost missed out on a wonderful relationship.

One of my male 40 year old clients was dating online and saw a profile he liked. He looked at the picture and almost dismissed her because of the photo. When he asked me to look at the photo and what I thought, I looked at the picture and said that I thought that she would look better in person given it was a poorly taken photo. I encouraged him to meet her. As it turned out, she did look much better in person and they clicked immediately. They did end up marrying.

Another 38 year old female client met someone online who she thought was cute where they had some chemistry. In their early conversations she found out the man she was communicating with had moved out of his girlfriend’s house a month ago and he was technically “homeless”. She was disappointed to hear this and almost ditched this budding relationship because of his current homeless status. I encouraged her to get more information before saying,“ bye bye” to this man.

More from YourTango: How Resilient Are You In Your Quest to Find Your Mate?

As it turned out, he was a gainfully employed attorney and he was staying with his family while he seek out a new living arrangement for himself. And there was good cause for the break up that satisfied her reservations about getting involved in a dating relationship with someone just out of a long term relationship.

What conclusions are you jumping to in your dating relationships before you get more information? What possible relationships are you passing by much too quickly before finding out the facts of the situation? This curious coach wants to know!

Find an expert near you!

Article contributed by

View profile

Advanced Member

Coach Amy Schoen

Author

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC

www.MotivatedtoMarry.com

Illuminating Your Path to Finding Lasting Love

I work with marriage minded individuals who are ready to take charge of their dating efforts and learn a system of how to meet people who share their values so that they can find the right one and have the family life they so desire.

Location: Rockville, MD

Credentials: MBA

Website: http://motivatedtomarry.com/

Other Articles/News by Coach Amy Schoen:

How to Connect with that Special Woman During the First Months

By Coach Amy Schoen

How do you show someone that you feel that you are special and you mean the world to them? It’s human nature to feel special when someone is paying attention to you. And to share with someone what matters to them most also matters to you. My relationship advice to you is to focus on the time spent on the endeavor and fore-thought that ... Read more

How Resilient Are You In Your Quest to Find Your Mate?

By Coach Amy Schoen

I have been coaching for about nine years, and what I notice is some people are really good at picking themselves up and getting back out there, while others seem to get stuck in the "what went wrong" or "the would have, could haves" of their past relationship. Your ability to quickly move forward and get yourself dating again when ... Read more

Love At First Sight: Why It Won't Find Your Match

By Coach Amy Schoen

I was talking to one of my female clients in her early 40s who has never been married. She confided in me that she tends to be attracted to good-looking men, but that these relationships fizzle out quickly and don't move forward as she would have hoped. It raised a question that so many of my clients ask me: How do you find love beyond ... Read more