Surviving The Holidays As A Single Person


Surviving The Holidays As A Single Person
In a recent meeting we discussed how to have a happy holiday season despite being single.

In my recent Meetup group get together we discussed how to have a happy and fulfilling holiday season despite the challenges that face singles. I appreciated their candid responses and insights. I also shared my feelings and gave my relationship advice about when I was single at this time of year. 

To get the conversation going I asked them these questions:


1. What is challenging or hard for you about being single during the holidays?
2. What is fulfilling for you about the holidays?
3. What steps do you want to take to make this a happy time of year for you?
4. Who is the most meaningful person in your life and how can you best connect with him or her?
5. What intentions do you want to set and what would you be willing to try that is outside your comfort zone? 

For the first question, the major challenges I heard was getting out to do things given that in the Mid-Atlantic, it is dark and cold now; one was not a party person so how should they connect with others given a more introverted personality; being sad that there is no one to share these holiday experiences with; the family pressure that ensues from expectations about dating and finding a marriage partner; and not knowing a lot of single people or where to find them. 

The first step is to acknowledge what is difficult about the holidays for you so you can start planning some proactive steps for having a happy and fulfilling time for you. That gets to the next question: What is fulfilling for you about the holidays? Here you get to choose what you want to focus on. My relationship advice is to have close, caring friends around you or spending time with your children or family member's kids. I am sure they would appreciate the break! 

Third, you need to be proactive and plan for those fulfilling activities or even create them. Perhaps you get a lot of satisfaction helping others.  Is there a way for you to volunteer for others who would benefit from your efforts? I know there are several single volunteer opportunities in the DC area both on and through some synagogues and churches. Maybe a trip on a singles cruise would provide both most needed relaxation and a way to meet your true love

I have always believed that you can create what you want. When I was single, I organized a dinner at a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Day where Jewish Professionals could be together in friendship and camaraderie. We started with about 8 of my close single friends and in a couple of years it grew to over 35 people coming to the dinner annually. It became known as one of the events of the holiday season.

Next, my relationship advice to you is to make sure you connect with the special people in your life. Can you travel to spend time with them?  Or maybe "Face Time" is what is required so stay connected with your loved ones. Think about how to set some boundaries with prying family members who mean well and usually are doing more damage than help by asking, "Are you dating anyone?"

Last, how are you going to push beyond your comfort zone? For some, it's just getting out of the house to be with friends and family members or joining a new Meetup Group, or setting Aunt Jane straight with some boundaries around "being helpful". Others it's making time for online dating and meeting new people for dating despite a busy social calendar or pushing yourself to show up at singles event to meet new people. 

In the end what intentions do you want to set to ensure that you will have a happy and fulfilling holiday season? My relationship advice about the holidays is that it all comes down to connection. Who do you need to connect with? 

We only live this life so we need to make the best that it can be as a single person or as a couple. You have the power to do so. 

I wish you a very happy and fulfilling Holiday season and a love-filled New Year.

More single advice on YourTango:

This article was originally published at Motivated to Marry. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Coach Amy Schoen


Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC

Illuminating Your Path to Finding Lasting Love

I work with marriage minded individuals who are ready to take charge of their dating efforts and learn a system of how to meet people who share their values so that they can find the right one and have the family life they so desire.

Location: Rockville, MD
Credentials: MBA
Other Articles/News by Coach Amy Schoen:

Why You Shouldn't Fall In Love So Easily


There's no question that at the end of the day, we all want to feel loved. We want that person who won't hesitate to be there for us and just listen when we're going through rough times. But sometimes, we want this feeling so bad that we chase after it even when we know we shouldn't. It may seem sweet at first but that desperation to fall in ... Read more

How To Tell Your Date What You're Really Looking For


Nowadays, when it comes to the dating game, the struggle is so real. Honestly, trying to find someone who shares the same interests as you sometimes feels like finding a needle in a haystack. Don't even get us started on how hard it is to meet people who are upfront about their intentions. Ladies, take it from us. If you're dating around with the ... Read more

Do You Really Need Chemistry To Score That Second Date?


If we're being totally honest with ourselves, we probably all want to believe in love at first sight. There's a part of us that is sure that we'll just know if we've met the one from the minute that our eyes meet. That's what makes it a major let down when after going on a date with a pretty cool guy, the spark just isn't there. ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Most Popular