How Far Would You Go for True Love?

By

How Far Would You Go for True Love?
If you are considering widening your search to stretch national borders and beyond...

Ned was at a singles weekend in Virginia Beach when he met Francie. There was an easy rapport between them and they hung out most of the weekend. There was one glitch, Ned lived in Washington, DC and Francie lived on Boston. Ned was determined to pursue Francie and it turned out the feeling was mutual. Less than a year later, they were married.

Mitch was searching on an online dating site where he stumbled upon Laura. She seemed to be everything he was looking for - although she was working abroad in the Republic of Georgia. After talking on the ph.one for about 3 months and establishing terrific rapport, they met in Greece for a wonderful week together. After another six months, Mitch took a sabbatical from work and went to the Republic of Georgia to see if this relationship really had legs. In the end, Laura came to Washington, DC, where they lived together for a month or two and then decided to split up.

So how far are you willing to go for true love? What risks will you allow yourself to take? If you are considering widening your search to stretch national borders and beyond, this is what you need to consider before investing your time, resources and energy in a long distance relationship.

1. The challenges of a long distance relationship are…

- To stay connected to each other despite the distance.
- To make travel plans: where, when and how often.
- To stay true to the relationship and not love the one you're with!
- To deal with the hard issues of the relationship when you are together and not treat it like a vacation.
- To not feel lonely and to have a good support system of friends and family.
- To have sufficient time together to really get to know one another.

2. The pitfalls of a long distance relationship are …

- You miss out on stuff because you can't be there. (i.e., such as a birthday party of your boyfriend's friend.)

- You can't be there if there is an emergency or problem. Penny's husband's brother, Ken, was in the army with Desert Storm. Penny couldn't be there to comfort him.

- You don't have enough physical time together to establish a physical connection. Also, you can't see their facial expressions. You may miss the cues in the conversation.

- You probably won't see the bad side of the person because he or she can hide it more and be on his/her best behavior. Mary said, "when you are spending a weekend together, you are not seeing the full context- It’s just not reality".

- You are not used to being together physically- you may need time to readjust. When you do finally get in sync, it's time to leave again.

- You may be deceived by a person who is really married or hides important information from you concerning either children, or his or her financial situation.

- You may take things the wrong way. It's harder to clear up misunderstandings when you don’t see the person face to face.

- You can have a lot of stress very soon in the relationship in terms of making decisions about if you are going to move and the changes you have to make in your life for this person. The relationship can be very intense.

3. The benefits or gifts of a long distance relationship are…

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Coach Amy Schoen

Author

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC

www.MotivatedtoMarry.com

Illuminating Your Path to Finding Lasting Love

I work with marriage minded individuals who are ready to take charge of their dating efforts and learn a system of how to meet people who share their values so that they can find the right one and have the family life they so desire.

Location: Rockville, MD
Credentials: MBA
Other Articles/News by Coach Amy Schoen:

Do You Really Need Chemistry To Score That Second Date?

By

If we're being totally honest with ourselves, we probably all want to believe in love at first sight. There's a part of us that is sure that we'll just know if we've met the one from the minute that our eyes meet. That's what makes it a major let down when after going on a date with a pretty cool guy, the spark just isn't there. ... Read more

"Too Old" To Find Love? Don't Worry, You've Still Got It

By

Ladies, why is it that the older we get, the harder it is for us to jump back into the dating scene? Regardless of whether our game plan is to settle down after we find Mr. Right or have fun with Mr. Right Now, it's almost as if we're expected to turn the lights off after we hit a certain age. if you've ever found yourself hesitating from putting ... Read more

7 Ways That Dating For Marriage Differs From Casual Dating

By

One of my clients, Mindy, has never been married. Mindy, in her late 30‘s, has been dating and been in several relationships off and on for most of her adult life. When she started coaching with me she was in relationship with a professional man in his early 40’s for about two years and was hoping to bring it to the next level of commitment, ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular