How To Tell If He's Marriage-Minded
By Coach Amy Schoen. Posted on .
When it comes to online dating, putting yourself out there to meet marriage-minded singles can seem like a lot of work. Just remember, you are making all this effort because you believe you can find true love online, and before long, you will meet that special someone. In fact, over two-thirds of my clients have met their marriage partners through online dating. And yet, how can you tell when it is happening to you? What are the signs that he/she is the right one?
This is what you need to consider: Does he/she make decisions that benefit the relationship instead of only the individual? Does he/she share his/her life goals and seem to want to works towards them together? Does he/she care about how his/her actions affect you? If your partner is willing to work to keep your partnership going, he/she probably values the relationship and is considering the long term. You can't assume this without even asking!
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At a certain point in an ongoing relationship, you will have to bring up the subject of marriage if you have already committed to yourself to the goal of marriage. If you want to reach that goal, you have to talk about it. Nothing scares off a person in a dating relationship faster than talk of weddings and family stuff too soon. However, don't be afraid to communicate in generalities that your goal in dating is to find a marriage partner.
For instance, you might say, "I'm looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage, are you?" If that statement scares away your date, then so be it! It shows the person you were dating is not truly marriage-minded. The response you are looking for is, "So am I!" I had this conversation with my husband after dating one month. At 41, I had to know and had no time to waste! And, he didn't run away.
Be mindful of the conversations between yourself and your potential partner. When does the topic of marriage come up? When in the dating relationship are you ready to know if he/she is interested in finding a marriage partner? Who should bring up the subject of marriage? Do you cringe when a date brings mentions this too early?
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The sooner you learn if your partner is marriage-minded (or not), the better off you are! How are you finding out if the person you are dating is marriage- minded? At what point in the dating process are you bringing up your life goals in the conversation?
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