For those of you who think you want to get married, do you have a realistic picture of what it is all about? Do you see yourself in wedded bliss where you wake up together, have a romantic day at the beach, laugh together and enjoy a sunset dinner and a midnight walk along the water? That is possible.
But do you also see yourself arguing about who does the dishes that are piled up in the sink, about the unaccounted for expenses or about wanting to be left alone after a stressful day at the office? These scenes can be part of marriage too! Are you prepared for the ups and downs that marriage offers? Why "Wimpy" Men Make The Best Husbands
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Before you can truly determine if you are ready for marriage take a step back and answer these questions first:
1. What are your reasons for wanting to get married? There are many reasons for wanting to find a marriage partner: companionship of a spouse and wanting a family (a spouse and children) are the top two reasons from my research. One of my girlfriends was divorced, 40 years old and had a young child. All her friends were married and she was the only single parent in her social group. Fortunately, she did end up marrying — she met her second husband on the internet! The Joys Of Marrying After 40
2. What would marriage give you that you don't already have? What would you be giving up? You can list your pros and cons of marriage. The major issues that come up are about the loss of freedom in marriage. You have to account for the other person in all your decisions. There seems to be more family obligations when you are married. This can take up a lot of your time. Being single can take a lot of time too. One of my clients desires to find a wife so he can focus more of his energies on his business. He figures he spends at least 16 hours a week searching for "the one."
On the other hand, wanting a spouse to support you through life's ups and downs is a big motivation for marriage. Also, having a steady companion for meals and leisure time seems to be high on the list "for" marriage. It is up to you to weigh the pros and the cons and to figure out if the scales tip towards or away from marriage. 10 Things I've Learned In 36 Years Of Marriage
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3. How do you view marriage? What's your opinion of marriage? Do you have positive thoughts about marriage? Or do you have a negative view of marriage? My friend Jessie — early forties, single and never married — has parents that are divorced. She claims that she knows very few happy marriages. The view that "most marriages end in divorce" surely impacts her readiness for marriage. One of my ex-boyfriends once referred to me as "his ball and chain" to one of his friends. He has never married and is in now his late 40s. Don't you think this perspective on marriage may have prevented him from taking marriage seriously?
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