You say you want to experience peace during and after your divorce. You read books and articles about how to let go, forgive and move forward in your life with peace, confidence and clarity, yet you remain stuck. You almost seem frozen in confusion, fear or anger. Consider the following stories about Edna’s lifelong dream and the two Buddhist monks.
Edna was raised in a very poor family. She was raised during the depression. She never had new clothes and was never able to travel outside of Southern California. In the early 60s she was saddled with five young children. It was around this time that she seen the now classic movie, “South Pacific.” She developed an intense desire to go to the exotic island, Bali. She collected travel brochures and read every book she could find about the island. She told everyone she met about her dream to go to Bali. She knew more about the island than most travel agents.
Edna’s children grew up and moved out of the home. Soon there were grandchildren who would eagerly sit on the floor listening intensely to Edna when she would describe Bali, and how one day she would have the money to go there.
Sadly, Edna passed without ever visiting Bali. What’s even sadder is that when her adult children were going through her home, they discovered over fifty thousand dollars in cash and a savings account with over one-hundred thousand dollars in it. Edna definitely had the money – the means to visit the exotic island, however because of her poor upbringing, she hoarded money and never experienced her dream.
What are you hoarding or holding onto that could truly give you the peace you say you want? Is it anger, depression or fear? Perhaps a little bit of all of them. You have the ability to change your mind and your thoughts. You may need some support and guidance to change them, but it is very possible to do so.
Just as Edna had the money to experience her dream, you have the resources to experience peace. Edna never experienced her dream. Are you ready to put the resources to work for you in order to experience peace, confidence and clarity around your divorce and your life so that you can move forward and create a new happier future for yourself?
There is an old story about two Buddhist monks travelling through the country side. They came across a river with a beautiful maiden sitting beside it crying as she was unable to pass the river. The senior monk, picked her up and carried her across the raging waters and set her safely down on the other side. He continued his journey with the younger monk. After a couple hours, the junior monk could no longer be silent. He asked the senior monk, “How could you carry that maiden, you know that it is against our way of life to ever touch a woman?” The senior monk replied, “I put her down hours ago, why are you still holding onto her?”
Your thoughts are what create your feelings. They can keep you prisoner and prevent you from getting what you say you really want. You cannot let it go as long as you continue to dwell on it and keep it a part of you. Using your story as a reason why you must hold onto the pain. During the last hours of the journey, the junior monk held onto thoughts that made him feel anxious and angry.