ProConnect

The Divorcée's Guide To Casual Sex

By

casual sex
Divorcées need nookie, too.
Keeping it casual? Follow these rules.

Casual sex after divorce means different things to different people. As a general rule of thumb, men usually have an easier time keeping emotions out of the equation. Some women will confuse the intimacy with love, leaving them open to be hurt. For this reason, it is imperative that women heal and let go of the fairytale before entering into a casual relationship for sex.

After her divorce, Lana was terrified of going out for drinks with the girls. After being in a sexless marriage for years, her strong craving for sex and intimacy were driving her crazy. She did not trust herself and pictured herself jumping into the sack with the first man she met. She felt a battle going on inside of her mind. One side saying that it is perfectly normal for her to have these desires and to act upon them. While the other side seemed to shout that she is supposed to deny her desires and remain a good girl and a good role model to her children.

More from YourTango: Stronger Than Yesterday: 5 Ways Divorce Can Empower You

Jen took another route after her divorce. She went a little wild and began immersing herself by going to bars, allowing herself to be picked up by attractive men and having one-night stands. She was looking for validation in herself and for a way to fill the deep yearning she had for all that had been lacking in her marriage.

Lana and Jen took off in two completely different directions. Neither one took the time to stop, breathe and look at what they were seeking and why they wanted it. Having casual sex after divorce is not for everyone. However, for many it provides for their physical need without feelings of guilt and helps them to heal and grow. Having the real thing brings more pleasure than the alternate battery operated friend.

Many women find it difficult to be in a casual sex relationship because of the powerful hormone oxytocin, which is released during orgasm. It is believed that oxytocin may cause a woman to create a strong emotional tie to sexual partners. Only you can decide what feels right and acceptable to you.

More from YourTango: Forgiving The Unforgivable In An Ex

Here is a list of useful dos and don'ts if you decide that casual sex after divorce is right for you. Keep reading ...

More sex advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Cindy Holbrook

Divorce Coach

Do you want to get off of the emotional roller-coaster and gain Peace, Confidence and Clarity?

Discover 5 Simple Steps to Have More Peace During and After Your Divorce today!

Location: Ridgecrest, CA
Credentials: CPC
Specialties: Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Cindy Holbrook:

Stronger Than Yesterday: 5 Ways Divorce Can Empower You

By

Going through your divorce is probably one of the most trying times in your life. It's hard to imagine that it might actually make you stronger (and happier). However, when you get through this dark tunnel, the light you'll come into will be so bright and radiant and wonderful that you'll feel like a brand new you. YES, it really is possible to ... Read more

Forgiving The Unforgivable In An Ex

By

After a break up or divorce we may have that one thing that is just unforgivable to us. It's something different for everyone. Perhaps he got strung out on drugs, wasn't emotionally there for you when your mom passed, told your kids they were dead to him, cheated, or hit you. As far as you are concerned your ex's actions are something that is ... Read more

Recently Divorced? Here's What You Need To Know About Your Taxes

By

Part of going through a divorce, or being newly divorced ,is being responsible for everything in your household when you probably used to share duties, such as financial obligations. If your ex handled the bills and the taxes, this is probably a rude awakening. Even if you did it all, things are different now and you may not know some of the perks you can ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Smooches

She's That Into You: Cracking the Code of Women

Women give off signals telling you how they feel.

Girlfriends

6 Texting Shockers You Must Avoid!

Sending your man a text message sounds easy enough, but get it wrong and it could be the end of you.

Blues

The addiction to "busy"ness: How to live with more intention

Is the daily routine of life getting you down? Find your passion and live a more authentic life!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS