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This Is Why I Ghost

Drinking Coffee
Heartbreak, Love

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As a relationship coach,  I will get a lot of flack for admitting that I ghost, but hear me out. Ghosting, is when you are speaking to someone and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM! They are never to be heard from again. You start to over-analyze every little thing you said and did the last time you talked to them or saw them. But, more often than not, the real reason they ghosted has a lot more to do with what they know of your character than them being an asshole. 

I have always been very blunt and to the point, some can handle it and some cannot. But, if I stop having feelings for someone I will always slowly but surely stop responding, reason being is I have tried it both ways. I have always been upfront and honest that I like someone else or if I just do not think I am compatible with him anymore. And each time I took the awkward, but respectful way and go out of my way and tell them why I am not feeling them anymore, I would get so many obscenities sent my way. 

I have been ghosted on too so it doesn’t matter who you are, you will get ghosted at least once in your life. I had one guy who said he hated ghosting and that if we were ever incompatible to please tell him. He had someone he liked ghost him and so he knew how bad it felt. He even said if she would have sent a text to me; that would have been better than silence. He and I were doing ok and everything appeared to be going well and then he just stopped responding. I even sent him a text saying, “Hey, if you met someone that is perfectly ok, just let me know” I received no response from him. So I let it go. That Friday, I am walking my dogs and guess who is outside my building with beer and trying to get into my gated community? Yep, it was the ghoster. What’s hilarious is the new girl he was dating lived in my exact building, we have 8 buildings in my complex so there’s karma for ya. 

So as you can see ghosting sometimes has to occur and yes it is still immature and if the world were an expert on communication then we would never have to come up with these ridiculous terms, but with technology advancing everyday, expect ghosting to happen more and more, unfortunately it is here to stay. Just remember when you do it karma always comes back around.

Christy Goldstein is a relationship coach and can help you with all your relationship needs. Whether you need help with your current relationship challenges or to get over your past breakups and the events that happened during that break up, she has you covered! Contact Christy for a free 30 minute Skype consult!


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