Games are for kids. Love is for grown-ups.
Sometimes you play certain games while dating someone and you might not even know that you're doing it or the pain it could cause. Time to realize it though and time to stop, because there is a good chance you're pushing your partner away and heading towards heartbreak.
These are 6 common games that can be going on while dating someone. Read them, learn from them, and PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK:
1. You tell him you want him to go out with his friends, but once he comes back you're cold and distant.
You can't expect him to understand this tactic. I know most girls just can't believe that he ACTUALLY left you that night for their friends. You think he should just know that you wanted him to stay in with you. He isn't a mind reader, and if you think he is going to miss an opportunity to hang with his boys, you are sadly mistaken.
2. You're happy one second and then a second later you're pissed off.
I never really understood why women do this? Maybe we think it's a sense of control? In reality though, all you are doing is making him question everything you have said and done during your time together. This may lead him to rethinking your relationship and it's status.
Be careful with this tactic, because one minute you can be "in a relationship" and the next "it's complicated."
3. You two have been texting consistently, then — for no apparent reason — you decide to wait forever to respond.
This is another push/pull control tactic and depending on the length of your relationship and your age, just know you should have stopped doing this in middle school or even freshman year of high school. If he messages you, respond in a acceptable amount of time. You don't have to respond right away, but at least respond within an hour or less.
4. You cancel plans to meet his friends or family because you're super nervous.
I had a boyfriend who was supposed to meet my father and my step mom and then at the last minute he decided going on a boat with his friends was more important. He was basically living in my apartment at the time, so by him doing this, I knew it was time to guard my heart.
If you have plans that have been in place for a week or longer, never cancel those plans! By canceling, you are showing them that it isn't important to you to meet them. It's OK to be scared, but talk about your fears instead of blowing it off. Communication is key to a successful relationship.
5. He hasn't responded to your last message and so you are over analyzing EVERYTHING.
But, when he does respond and you breathe that sigh of relief, instead of responding right away, your insecurities get the best of you, so you decide to repay the favor and not respond. Sometimes we just get busy and can't respond right away.
Now, I know with texting everyone thinks that you should always be able to respond even if it's a "brb" text. But guess what? Their life does not revolve around you, so they may in fact be busy or they could very well be playing the exact same game.
6. You're out with your friends and you see your boyfriend, but instead of going up to him — you ignore him.
By ignoring them you are embarrassing yourself and them. This isn't high school where you think that the guy has to approach you first. If you are dating and you see them out — regardless of where — say hi! It makes things less awkward and by acknowledging them you are showing them that you really are invested in the relationship.
Playing games will only get you so far, and as a relationship coach, I can tell you that none of these tactics work! They actually will have the opposite effect and then you are the jealous ex looking at their social media accounts to try to get a glimpse of the life you could have had, had you not been the crazy girl or the crazy guy.
Christy Goldstein is a relationship coach and can help you with all your relationship needs. Whether you need help with your current relationship challenges or to get over your past breakups and the events that happened during that break up, she has you covered! Contact Christy for a free 30 minute Skype consult! email@example.com