How's It Going To Be You Can't Have It Both Ways


How's It Going To Be You Can't Have It Both Ways

In the age where women are just as powerful as men where do we draw the line of men using women and women using men? Is it still taboo to say that if a man is living off of a woman than he is less of a man? Or are we past that stage because of the current generation?

The current generation has shown that women can be just as successful or even more so than a man. Since that's the case do we throw out our previous beliefs that our parents and grandparents has instilled in us? I was brought up to know that a man was the provider and that the woman was to stay at home and watch the children and take care of the home. Or maybe I wasn't taught that, but I was shown that. My mother stayed home with my sister and I. She kept the house clean and cooked for all of us while my Dad was at work. So, because I was brought up this way; do I believe this is the norm? Hell no, I don't! Especially, nowadays!

I saw what my Mom did for us and I am thankful she was able to stay home with my sister and I. She brought us up and taught us things that she was not taught, because her Mom had to go to work. My Mom was brought up in a very different setting. My Mom and her sister were at babysitters most of their lives growing up. When my Mom had kids she refused to have her children grow up with babysitters. We always want something different for our children when we have them. We always think to ourselves "I will do this differently with my children."

Since the generations have changed and now more and more women are in the workplace and they are happily pursuing their careers instead of settling down and getting married and having children. I was taught a man should open up the door for me and should pay the bill at a restaurant, but as I continue on in my dating life I have found that it is no longer "normal" for those things to happen. I rarely have a door held open for me or have a guy grab the bill to pay for the meal. So why has that changed? Even though I am comfortable in my life and provide for myself why do men think it is ok to NOT hold open my door or to grab the check every once and a while? I am not saying the man has to pay every time we go out. I would even go as far as to say I would prefer we go dutch PERIOD! But more often than not when I have been asked out on a date the man does not pay I DO! So why is that? Why is it okay for a man to mooch off of a woman?

I am a little confused where the boundaries have changed? Maybe it's the men that I am picking, but the last boyfriend told me he was used to paying for everything, but yet I ended up paying for all of our meals and tickets to the movies. I even took him on a mini vacation to Gatlinburg which I paid for the gas, cabin, food, and anything else we chose to do on that trip. He never paid for a tank of gas or for a meal... nothing, nada, zilch. Even now if I am invited on a date I am not invited to a restaurant or to a bar to have a drink I am invited to their house to watch a show or a movie. Which inevitably leads to us fooling around on their couch and us not talking about anything since there is no setting or should I say mood to make us of think of anything else besides making out on the couch.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Christy Goldstein

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Christy Goldstein

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Location: Columbus, OH
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Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Sexuality
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