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The User


If you have met this person who used you for money, your status, or for even one of your friends.

If you have ever met this person I hope they didn't get to take much from you while they were in your life. I unfortunately had this person in my life as well and luckily for me it was short lived. I am talking about the user. The guy or girl that wants to keep up with their "image" through someone else's means or their own friends. There is always going to be someone in your life that takes more than they should and it isn't being reciprocated. They could also want you for your friend which can be embarrassing and humiliating. Hopefully you see this person for who they are quickly so you don't waste time, energy, and the oh so important your money!

This person will tell you all the people they know and how much money they have, or used to have. They will cloud your mind with images of pretty things that you are either accustomed too or know you can get, but you save your money instead of spending it on material things. Once they are in your life they start slow and some will even go full force depending how desperate they are in their situation. 

In my situation he used to have money and was used to the finer things and then he got laid off. And instead of getting a job right away he sat on his ass for eight months and blew through his savings. Now I know some need a break and I am all for it. But once you take a long break as in more than a month you get used to being off and it makes it harder for you to get back into the work scene. Once he got a new job it didn't pay like he was used too. So when we started to date I was more than willing to pay dutch and not worry about what the guy is supposed to pay according to the golden rule of guys paying for dinner. 

But eventually it became me paying for everything. I paid for drinks, dinners, trips, his clothes you name it I even paid for his eye contacts at one point. I love to help people, but once it shows I am being taken advantage of I am quick with my tongue sometimes too quick. And he got the wrath that is me. So he heard some things that dropped him down a notch. In all honesty in the end it was my fault just as much as it was his. I should have known when to stop and he should have told me that I needed to stop as well. But of course my caring nature and his need for the finer things meant this arrangement went on longer than necessary. 

Now this goes both ways it can be friends as well who take advantage of you. When you are out and you get drinks and the bartender is busy so you put it on one card and then you are expecting them to get you next drink and they shockingly don't. So once you see a pattern the best thing to do is to talk to them about it. If they become defensive and say you don't love me or things of that nature, run for the hills. If they agree and say I am sorry I can't afford things like I used too. Then change it up. Start doing things that don't require that much money. Because in the end if you really like each other all you need is their company it's not about what you are doing with them it's that you are with them to begin with.

Christy Goldstein is a relationship coach and can help you with all your relationship needs. Whether you need help with your current relationship challenges or to get over your past breakups and the events that happened during that break up, she has you covered! Contact Christy for a free 30 minute Skype consult!


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