How first dates have changed and why people think a first date at a house is ok.
I figured today was a good day to talk about first dates and the lovely awkwardness of them.
I recently hung out with a guy that I had been texting and Facebook chatting for a while and when we finally met in person, can we say, AWKWARD??? In my experience most people are great when they are behind an electronic device, but once that device is taken away, oh man! Someone needs to help that person with how to break the ice. When most men talk to you with these social networks or cell phones, the first thing you are talking about is sex. It's kind of funny how many pictures of men's bits and pieces I have on my phone but when I speak to them in person its like, umm... really where did the personality go? I finally figured out the people who are so proud of showing their parts is because they lack the personality to go with those parts. I will be real: the man's size is completely irrelevant. It does not matter how big or small--it's how they use it. Of course there are some women who prefer bigger than average (which is fine), and I am definitely one of those women. But in all honesty the best lovers I have had are the ones who were smaller. Maybe it's because they feel they have more to prove or maybe they have actually done the research on how a woman's body works.
Seeing how I got sidetracked--which I so often do when it comes to sex? Back to my original statement: first dates!
I wouldn't even call them first dates anymore. Most of the time men go to a girls house or the girl goes to the guys house. What happened to the going out to dinner first? Where did all the romance go when meeting someone you think you like? I am completely confused on where dating has gone. I even have friends who don't even date anymore! They are automatically looking to see if he is compatible enough for them to date seriously. How are you going to know in a week or even a few months? It takes time to know someone truly. Maybe this is why the divorce rate is so high? Everyone is settling for someone they think is right for them and then years down the road they find out "wait I don't even know this person". Of course you won't know someone in a few months! I would say even people I have known for ten years...I truly don't know them. And you will never know someone completely because people change constantly. Everyone is always changing their minds, professions, loves, and even religions. So know this: when you meet someone for the first time, it will always be awkward. Sometimes it won't click right but know that what you are feeling in that moment is probably the same thing the person you are with is feeling.
And with all this said, Ladies, I beg of you remember back in the day when a regular phone was all you had to connect with someone and how nice it was to hear someone's voice. You could even detect sarcasm and really understand what someone is thinking by the inflection in their voice. I have to say I miss those days because now instead of hearing someone's voice that I love to hear, I get a text or a Facebook message. That is just unacceptable. Now I know I do this as well, but sometimes a girl needs to hear I miss you or I wish I was with you--not see it on a small screen with an emoticon next to it.
So men, the next time you miss who you are dating or if you are thinking of someone: CALL THEM. Tell them you miss them or are thinking of them. Trust me. They will remember that more than a standard text that they see sometimes from their parents.
Christy Goldstein, a dating coach and a dating expert, can help you with all of your dating needs. Christy's blunt personality helps you move quicker through the dating scene. She can help you with your dating profile, your dating checklists, red flags and more! Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
This article was originally published at Luv and Relationships. Reprinted with permission from the author.