The Best Breakup Ever! Well Played Sir, Well Played.


The Best Breakup Ever! Well Played Sir, Well Played.
Breaking up is hard to do.... Sometimes.

You always hear about these crazy break up stories and you are just in awe that someone was that creative to do the breaking up deed in such a creative way, that you possibly question their sanity. Now, this story isn’t creative by any means. I do give him credit for the absurdity of it all.

I have been seeing a guy off and on for two years. There wasn’t anything great or horrible about the relationship, it was running it’s course and we both knew it would end soon. I just wasn’t prepared for the timing or the strange event that took place that day. A typical Saturday night for me was spending time with friends or being at home trying to finish my book, (Which fyi isn’t anywhere where I would like it to be.) I texted my supposed boyfriend and he said he would be over after the hockey game was over. I texted him after the game and no response, so I waited an hour and sent another text. By this time I am thinking what the hell is going on? He had just texted me two hours ago with him texting he loved me. So I am wondering what the hell happened in two hours for him to just go awol on me?


Well, I decide to go to sleep and in the morning I see that yep he still hadn’t responded. So I texted him and asked him what was up. No response, so seeing how we live a few blocks away from each other I drove over to his house to see two girls on his porch with his roommate. I asked where the supposed boyfriend was and his roommate said upstairs. I climb the stairs fuming, because I know this is not going to be a happy ending. He comes out of the bathroom and the first thing he says to me is, “Why did you just come over?” I am thinking wtf aren’t we dating and you ask me why I am at your place? The audacity of him trying to put the blame on me, as if he wasn’t the one hanging out in a very precarious situation. All of it was baffling to say the least. He was trying to make me look like I'm the crazy bitch to the people outside. 

Which I am certain he is just pissed because I obviously caught him in a situation he couldn’t talk himself out of. I look at him in a new light. I said to him, “If this is over that is fine, but give me my keys.” He hugs me and says let me tell the roommate I am not going with him. He goes downstairs and the next thing I know he is running down the street with one of those girls that were on the porch. And all I am thinking is, you bastard I want my keys!.

That’s when you know your relationship is over when you could care less about him running down the street with the girl he most likely cheated with and all I care about is my damn keys. But, in my defense he has my house key which is $56.00 to replace and my key fob to go in my building $400.00. So I will have to pay $456.00 bucks to change the locks and get a new key fob. Can someone explain the symbolizing of the damn key and key fob? Well, what ever the reason he has for not giving them up has been a bitch to deal with. I have since changed my locks and emailed him to tell him he needs to drop off the key fob. It’s not like it is out of his way to do so.

Article contributed by
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Christy Goldstein

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Christy Goldstein

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Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: CLC, CPC, CRC
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Sexuality
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