To Be A Player Or Not

By

To Be A Player Or Not
My journey on learning what I want and what I won't stand for.

We have all dealt with them and sometimes you have even been called one... a player. In my dating life I have been called more often than not an unemotional girl or a player. Yet at 29 I am starting to think maybe I am not a player per say. Maybe I just don't feel for many people or I only feel for the one in a million.

If I meet new guys I am almost positive I will not feel anything for any of them. I am very good at reading people and so I am starting to think that because I am so good at knowing what someone wants I run for the hills. I have a friend who falls in love with anyone who gives them attention. I don't know what is worse falling in love with everyone or falling for no one?

 

I have been in love three times, but as I think more about the three people I was in love with I actually now think I was in love twice. The more you analyze something the harder it gets to understand what is real and what is not. I call myself more often than not the most unemotional girl you will ever meet. Which in my mind is sad and sadly enough very true. I am not the type to sleep with someone and fall so madly in love because of doing the "deed" I actually feel less emotional afterwards. So I wonder if my unemotional self has more to do with me not wanting to get hurt? But I find that hard to believe because there honestly is no one I am attracted too... well for long.

A lot of people tell me how much they are in love and how happy they are. I am always thinking how and why? I am of course happy for all my friends who have found the loves of their lives, but I am also wondering how they fell in love. Some tell me when they met their significant others that they just knew they were the ones. And I have never felt that way. Even the two times I was in love I knew I wouldn't marry them and that they would be in my life for a short time. Which was true. But the reality is, I am on a different thought process than most women. A lot of women are looking for their soul mates so they can settle down and get married. Most little girls think of their weddings at an early age. I never had a dream to get married and have kids. My dream was to be successful and to never have to rely on a man for money, or anything for that matter. So maybe that is my flaw and my strength depending on how you look at it.

I am a loner at heart. I work better alone and I am not a bubbly people person. I have always been taught to not trust anyone. Luckily for me I have a great intuition so I have surrounded myself around people whom I trust wholeheartedly. Of course it is a small group of people, but to be honest I never wanted a huge group of friends. To me a lot of people means less people to trust. I have always thought a person is smart, but people are not. You get so many emotions when you are dealing with a lot of people. But if you only have a few people then you have less emotion and less bullshit.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Christy Goldstein

Relationship Coach

Christy Goldstein

Ask me about my free strategic sessions!

http://www.christygoldsteinsloveadvice.com

Also check out www.singleswarehouse.co.uk

www.nouveaudating.com

http://simplysxy.com

 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: CLC, CPC, CRC
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Christy Goldstein:

6 Steps To Achieve Before You Look For Your Life Partner

By

Dating is a hard thing to do regardless of race, gender, religious backgrounds, etc. But, if you are truly ready to have a partner in your life and are ready for marriage these are a few dating tips you need to think about before you start to look for your partner. 1. Job: Most people have a job, but if it’s not paying you what you will need to ... Read more

My Mom Didn't Listen So Our New Family Turned Into A Nightmare

By

Having a broken or should I say blended family is normal these days, but what if the person your parent is in love with isn't as he appears. My intuition has always been spot on, my Mom's not so much. So when I met him for the first time, the man she was dating, in less than 5 minutes I knew he wasn't a good guy. After the meeting I told my Mom to ... Read more

What Are Your Dating Morals: Should You Date Your Ex's Brother?

By

Recently, I was talking to a friend about how the dating pool in our 30's is sadly drying up, that we are forced to go back to past loves or even our past loves family members. Now, I am not knocking anyone who has dated a family member of an old relationship, but I do think that if you go this route, it is best that the ex of the family member you are ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular