My best friends are all single. And at twenty-nine and being single that is devastating for most. My one friend has been back and forth with this one guy for two years. He likes to play a little game that is, I will call or text you when I want too and not a minute or day before. She would hang out with this guy and then she wouldn't hear from him for weeks and then magically he calls or texts her and says you want to hang out and even though she has been agonizing over the past few weeks as to why he hasn't called and why he keeps doing this to her, she inevitably says yes to him. And then the game continues she sees him and then again he doesn't contact her for another three weeks or longer. He tells her things that are not true such as "I will never hurt you" or the best one is "you want to stop seeing me?" First, when were you ever seeing each other? Seeing each other every few weeks is NOT a relationship, but yet she eats it up. Which to me is the oldest game in the book!
She recently told me that if she stops talking to him than no doubt he will find someone else and she doesn't understand why it's not her. I have tried explaining to her that it has nothing to do with her. It is HIM. But she thinks so little of herself that she says well in a few years he will wish he was with me and I will have moved on. And I am thinking why would you care? If you have moved on and he is not with you than that is his problem not yours. She either likes the game that he doesn't want her, than he does. The chase of the game is intoxicating. She thinks that she loves him and I think she is in lust, because she is chasing him and he isn't willing to be caught. I have tried different tactics such as, say we are at a bar and I look at this guy and think he is hot but he looks at her and not me, well it has nothing to do with me it is just that she is his type not me. But of course that didn't work either. For what ever reason this guy has a pull on her and she continues to go back to him when he calls. And if he does something different and actually calls when he says he will she thinks he has changed. No he hasn't changed he is just realizing in order to keep her in his grasp he has too put more effort into the matter and so he gives her a little bit more each time. BUT he will end up doing the same thing if they hang out he won't call her for weeks again.