3 Steps To Make A Spirit Of Positive Change Into Your Marriage

3 Steps To Make A Spirit Of Positive Change Into Your Marriage
Love, Self

A golden opportunity in this new year to bring a spirit of positive change into your relationship!

For many people January is somewhat of a letdown. The holidays are over, it’s cold outside and we’re usually left with a few extra pounds from overdoing it in December. But to me the new year means a new beginning, a fresh start and as Oprah Winfrey cheers—"a new year and another chance for us to get it right."

You have a golden opportunity in this brand new year to bring a spirit of positive change into your marriage. Even in these barren days of winter a new perspective can begin to blossom.

Isn't life all about perspective? I often tell my clients that I believe life is 99.9% perspective.

How we choose to see the world is how we will experience it. So it’s not a matter of overhauling your whole relationship. That can feel like a daunting challenge. Maybe it’s just a matter of tweaking your perspective—just a little. Noticing, perhaps for the first time in a long while, the good that was there all along.

It’s like Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers in the Wizard of Oz. I love that amazing scene when the Good Witch revealed to Dorothy the value of those slippers. She had been wearing them all along without realizing the power they possessed. In that moment Dorothy discovers she wasn’t asking the right questions. 

The question was not, "How do I get what I want?" The real question was, "How do I recognize what I already have?" 

You need to polish that old gemstone and discover how beautiful and precious it really is. That gemstone of course is your spouse!

Here are 3 steps you can take right now to make the New Year’s Resolution that really counts:

  • Begin to focus on what you love about your spouse. Make a list to remind yourself. Read it often and don’t forget to share these precious insights with the special person who inspires this affection.
  • Be Kind. 

This quote by Bob Kerrey says it all. "Unexpected Kindness is the Most Powerful, Least Costly and the Most Underrated Agent of Human Change." So simple yet so powerful.

  • Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Practice seeing things from your spouse’s "perspective" instead of your own. You’d be surprised how much you can learn when you adopt an attitude of curiosity rather than judgment.

There are so many creative ways to put this resolution into practice. Here are a few of my favorites:

The Love Dare Challenge  

30 day zero negativity challenge

Date Night Ideas

Marriage Repair Workshop

So I guess January isn’t such a letdown after all. Ah the beauty of PERSPECTIVE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let’s make 2016 our best year ever!!


Explore YourTango