"I wish I would have paid attention." That's what many of my clients say before they describe one of the following dating dealbreakers. A dealbreaker is simply an issue that will create major problems in your relationship and likely cause a future breakup. It can be a fundamental difference in values, a major transgression or just a plain old personal preference. Here is a list of the top 10 relationship dealbreakers for lesbian couples:
1. Religion: It may be that she is devotedly religious while you're as atheist as they come or you simply follow different faiths. When it comes to religious views, a lot depends on the role your faith plays in your life. Religion may be a dealbreaker for you, and if it is, make sure you both know where you stand.
2. Marriage: Do you want to get married? Be upfront about your views on marriage and ask her to share her views. If they conflict, be aware that it may be a dealbreaker.
3. Her "closet status": Are you willing to go back into the closet if she's in the closet? Do you value your privacy while she's a community pride organizer? "Closet status" can create major relationship rifts if you can't live with each others' choices. Talk to her about how out she is—at home, at work, and with her family. Talk about each others' choices honestly.
4. Family relationships: This dealbreaker is really subjective. Does she have a weird relationship with her father? Does she hate her siblings? Is she a "momma's girl?" If the relationships she has with her family interfere with your relationship, then they may be dealbreakers.
5. Drug/alcohol use: Addictive behavior, including drug and alcohol abuse, can sour a relationship in record time. If she hides her behavior or prioritizes drug or alcohol use over you, then it's definitely a dealbreaker. Don't stick around to watch your relationship go down in flames; find someone who has her priorities straight. Keep reading...
More advice for lesbian couples from YourTango:
This article was originally published at Lesbian Love Guru
. Reprinted with permission from the author.