How to Have a Happy Relationship

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How to Have a Happy Relationship
You really can give yourself the gift of happily ever after!

Happy Relationships don't just happen through luck, they are made. To have a happy relationship all you need is a clear intention to create amazing connection and intimacy with your partner, and some simple tools.

Focus on your individual health and happiness. Happy relationships exist when each partner feels happy in their own right--when they know how to take care of their own emotional, physical, and mental health, and do so reliably.

Practice the Art of Authentic Communication. It's hard to have a happy relationship if your partner doesn't know what you want, or how you feel. Authentic communication makes a distinction between how one is feeling and who caused it. If you focus on expressing the feeling, without adding blame or criticism, you'll have less fights and more connection. 

Practice the Art of Appreciation. Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of Appreciation to Criticism. That includes the criticism you think in your head but don't say out loud!!  What you put your attention on grows, so if you're always noticing what's wrong with your partner, you'll continue to see more of the bad stuff...and if you put your attention on what they do well, you'll see lots more of the good!

Give yourself permission to give yourself what you want, when you want it. One of the biggest mistakes people make in their relationships, is trying to provide for the other partner's happiness by sacrificing their own. It never works, and usually leads to resentment and exhaustion. The only one who can truly give you happiness is you!

Occassionally check in with each other to find out if the relationship is working for both of you. Honesty here is the key. You can't fix something, if you don't know about the problem. We all feel disgruntled, or overworked from time to time, if you let your partner know what's happening, you can work together to change it.

Remember that you are allies. After a relationship has moved out of the honeymoon stage, it can at times be hard to remember that you both like each other and want to support one another. It can become a game of "I need you to change for me in the following ways..." Instead, remember that you each want what's best for you and your partner, it'll go a long way to keeping the partnership fresh and exciting!

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