When looking for a relationship or deciding if the one you have is right for you, ask yourself first, “What are my dreams for my life?” Then ask, “What kind of partnership do I want to support me in that life?” and then you can ask, “So who would that person be?” ME. WE. HE. In that order. Choose ME before WE.
3. You Lie To Yourself
Not being honest with yourself will make you unhappy in a relationship... and all of us have done it! I am the former Queen of Illusion myself. If there was lie to be told in a relationship I told it, until I realized that just because you avoid the truth doesn’t mean it’s not true. We lie not because we are afraid of the truth, but because we are afraid of the consequence of the truth, the action we will have to take if we do in fact admit that some of the thoughts – like the ones listed below – that are running our lives are in fact big fat lies:
Common Love Lies
? I can fix him.
? If he doesn’t love me no one will.
? I’ll never be happy until I find someone.
? There’s something wrong with me because I am single.
? He loves me more than her.
? That’s just how he is.
? He didn’t hit me so it’s not an abusive relationship.
? It was just that one time.
? If I leave, no one will ever love me again.
? He’ll change when we get married.
? She won’t change when we get married.
HAPPY RULE: Take a vow to Be Honest With Yourself – NO MATTER WHAT! And engage the help of friends when you can’t get to honesty on your own. Say to them, “I need your help on getting honest with myself. You can be totally honest and I won’t get mad. How do you see me lying to myself about XX relationship?” Just listen. You can ask questions, but you cannot comment back or engage in a debate. You can also not get mad at them. After they are done, say “Thank You.” Ask yourself, “What is the consequence of admitting the truth?” Let that sink in and then make a commitment to take at least one action that addresses this truth.
About Christine Arylo
Christine Arylo, an m.b.a. turned writer, speaker and teacher, is an inspirational catalyst who teaches people how to put their most important partnership first, the one with themselves, so that they can create the love and life their hearts and souls crave. The popular author of Choosing ME before WE, Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love www.mebeforewe.com, Arylo is known as the “Queen of Self-Love.” She created Madly in Love with ME, the international day of self-love (Feb 13), dedicated to making self-love a tangible reality for women and girls around the world. www.madlyinlovewithme.com