It’s so easy during the holidays to get caught up in the craze. So easy to feel like you have to give more than you really have to give and then end up exhausted and overspent emotionally and financially come Jan 1. So easy to fall into doing things out of guilt, obligation, habit – instead of out of what brings you the most joy.
But if you do this simple self-love practice – having a bff heart to heart with yourself about what’s really most important for you to give and receive this holiday – you can leave the guilt behind and instead BE and GIVE joy, love and peace!
More from YourTango: Are You Blocking Love?
Ask yourself these 3 questions – answer them honestly (no one can see your answers!) and write them down for yourself. Then at the end take the self - love promise – and PRESTO! You will have a holiday season that fills you up with love, leaving you more full than when this month began.
HOLIDAY PAST – TRANSFORM UNLOVING ACTS
1. Looking back at holiday’s past – what activities or choices have drained me – emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically?? List them all. Then for each one label it one of two things: STOP or TRANSFORM. Stop are the things you will no longer do, period. TRANSFORM are the things you will do only if you can change the energy to love. For those you are transforming ask yourself these questions.
- Why did I choose to do this thing that wasn’t the best for me?
- Whose needs was I putting before my own? If I was willing to disappoint another not to disappoint myself, what action or choice would I make instead?
- What unhealthy motivation was underneath my choice? ie. unrealistic expectations, needing approval, guilt, shame, obligation, fear? If I acted only from Love what action would I take?
2. Looking back at holiday’s past – what activities or choices have filled me UP with LOVE, HAPPINESS, PEACE – emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically? List them all. These are things you want to KEEP & GROW! Ask yourself these questions for each:
- How did this choice serve me?
- How did this choice serve those I love?
- How did this choice create MORE love?
HOLIDAY CURRENT – TAKE A STAND FOR ONLY LOVING ACTS – for yourself and others
More from YourTango: Daring Act of Love: Get Grateful for Yourself
Looking at your lists – the things you are committed to transforming and growing, as well as thinking and feeling into what YOU really want to EXPERIENCE this holiday – GIVE AND RECEIVE – answer these questions
1. What do I want to experience this holiday season – what I want to GIVE and what I want to RECEIVE. Use just a few words – up to four. Write these down – these are your LOVE CHECKS – for every action you take this holiday that feels in question, you ask does this action or choice align with this? if it doesn’t you don’t do it or you transform the action until it does.
I choose to GIVE…
I open to RECEIVE…