- Make the choice to Surrender. Surrender your expectations of what and how you should feel… and when. Surrender the belief that love could ever be stripped away. Surrender your fear of letting love go. The less you struggle and the more you surrender to love, the more ease you will have. When I am having a hard time surrendering, I take a “Surrender Plunge:” Put your body a cross-like position, or if that weirds you out, assume the body position as if you were floating on water. Arms out to the side, creating a T shape. And say out loud, over and over, until you feel a shift, the words, ‘I Surrender. I Surrender. I Surrender.”
- Find Evidence of Love Everywhere and Open your Heart to Receiving The Love. Remember, you need love to live, so take it everywhere you can get it… and seek it. Hugs, smiles, considerate acts of kindness from strangers, all great! Surround yourself with people who love you. Ask for their help, and let them (not expect them) to go above and beyond for you. Plan dates with friends where you don’t have to ‘do’ anything but be with each other. And in the moments you find yourself alone, reach out to nature, the sun, a book or a bath to soothe you and connect you to the fact that you will never leave you.
- Create physical touchstones that bring love to your body, heart and spirit. Having something or someone to touch you helps you feel the love still present. I have put these two love generating tools to the test: A. the Love Pacifier – a physical object that reminds you of that person or that relationship in a healthy way. My pacifier for Nanook, my soul dog, has been a white faux fur blanket that feels like her shiny warm coat I used to love snuggling up to. B. Body and energy workers working on you! In the past 2 weeks I have received Acupuncture, Emotional Freedom Technique, Reiki, Cranio-Sacral Therapy and Massage, and I am heading to a week long retreat with natural mineral salt baths this week. Grief gets stored in the body and you need to release it. Any of these forms are great release techniques. If you aren’t familiar with them, get familiar by googling them. Open minds lead to open hearts!
If you have other ideas to share on how you have opened to more love as you’ve experienced the ending of a relationship with someone you loved, I’d love to hear about it! Post it here or visit my blog http://www.daretoliveyou.com/blog/2011/04/love-never-dies.html where you can also watch a video I taped called Love Never Dies. ">http://www.daretoliveyou.com/blog/2011/04/love-never-dies.html where you can also watch a video I taped called Love Never Dies.
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Popular author of the book, Choosing ME Before WE, and co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School, Arylo has been dubbed the Queen of Self-Love. A recovering m.b.a. achievement junkie and doing addict, she speaks, writes and teaches women how to find the happiness and love they want by loving themselves first. To get her free Self-Love Kit, visit www.ChooseSelfLove.com