- Practice receiving small bursts of love, like compliments or random acts of kindness. We’ve all done the dance when someone gives us a compliment to push the energy somewhere else. At our best we say ‘Thank you’ without fully receiving the love, and at our worst we discount the compliment, ‘Oh, this old thing? Had it for years.’ Or said, “No thank you” to a stranger who offered to do some small favor for us – like lift our luggage, let us go ahead in line, carry a bag, etc. These are all instances of blocking love. Reject love in small ways, and you block it in big ways. My friend Marci Shimoff, NY Times best-selling author of Love for No Reason, says it takes 20 seconds to fully receive a compliment. To increase your love quotient, when someone gives you a compliment, say “Thank you” and add on to it with what you love about what they’ve complimented you on. And next time someone offers to help you, say YES! Thank you. And receive the love.
- Create close, healthy connections with multiple people of your same gender & get real. Women with women. Men with men. This is about opening up your heart to forming close, intimate and deep bonds – not just based on a shared history or because of shared work or child situations, but based on really revealing and seeing each other for who you truly are. Intimacy = Into Me See. I meet so many women, and I was one too, who don’t have the level of deep and vast love in their lives they crave because they don’t have deep, intimate connections with other women. They may have lots of friends, but those friendships are not the deeply vulnerable kind. They may even have one or two BFFs that they let mostly in, but they wouldn't be caught dead in a group of other women sharing openly and vulnerably. Taking part in loving, supportive, non-competitive circles with other women will give your love quotient a HUGE quantum leap, because your heart will learn to trust again in ways it can only do with other women.
Stop Holding Your Heart Hostage. Identify your form of protection & let it go. What is your form of heart protection? Have you hidden your heart away in some obscure location for safe keeping, built walls like Fort Knox to keep out intruders, or even let her shrivel up to seemingly fake death. When you can identify your mode of protection, you can start working on letting them go. Take a journaling or visualization adventure to find what is holding your heart hostage. Ask yourself questions like,
• “What is keeping my heart protected?”
• “What have been the incidents in my life that have caused me to protect my heart?”
• “What is my heart afraid of?”
I’ve worked with clients who have rescued their hearts from refrigerators in the forest, uncovered them through layers of death shrouds, unlocked layers of steel walls, all kinds of wild adventures. Once you find what’s keeping your heart protected, thank the protection for it’s service and imagine taking your heart back by putting it in a safe place inside of you.
About Christine Arylo
Christine Arylo, m.b.a., is an inspirational catalyst, teacher and self-love author who teaches people how to put their most important partnership first, the one with themselves, so they can create the life their souls crave. The popular author of the go-to book on relationships Choosing ME before WE and the self-love handbook, Madly in Love with ME, the Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend, she’s affectionately known as the “Queen of Self-Love.” Arylo founded the international day of self-love on Feb 13th and is the co-founder of the self-love and empowerment school for women, Inner Mean Girl Reform School. Get your free self-love kit at www.ChooseSelfLove.com + check out the new book, Madly in Love with ME!
"I look for an interesting supporting part about once a year. That's the most I can manage. Some women can do it and that's fantastic, but I can't. You make choices as a wife and mother, don't you? You can't have it all. I don't care what it looks like," she said in an interview with U.K.’s InStyle magazine.