They talk about their lives and their partners, yes, but there is nothing really to say about the relationship, because it works. People in unhappy or mediocre relationships complain, analyze, and seek input on their relationship and their partner from others all the time. They spend more time talking about their mate – what he’s doing, what she’s not – than they do on sharing themselves and their own lives.
4. Your Happiness Gauge says so. One of the most telling questions you can ask yourself is, “Am I happy?” It’s really simple to answer, yes or no, and it’s hard to lie. If your answer is No or if it goes something like, “Well, sometimes, but then other times, blah blah blah…” something is up with your choice in a mate. If you are not happy, you owe it to yourself to take three actions: 1. Determine what you really want from your life. 2. Determine what you really want from a partner. 3. Tell your partner what you want first for your life, then from a partner, and then ask “Can you and will you be that partner?” They will tell you the truth. It’s your job to listen.
5. You’re fights are not fair. Yes, all couples fight, but if your fights are of the dramatic and hurtful type, no matter how much your heart says you love ‘him’ or ‘her’ your heart has to love you more. Unfortunately, we can still love someone and be in an abusive or toxic relationship, and verbal, emotional and mental abuse counts. You have to respect yourself enough to demand respect from your partner. And, if you aren’t getting that respect, or giving that respect back, there’s something unhealthy going on. You have two choices – fix it with therapy and counseling – together and separate – or end the relationship.
The reason so many of us stay in relationships even though they don’t make our lives better or don’t help us to create the lives we really want is not because we are afraid to face the truth, it’s because we are afraid to face the consequences of the truth – being alone, admitting that we’ve made a mistake, hearing what other people will say or think – so we use love as a reason to stay. Do yourself a favor, and start first with the love you have for ME… listen to what you are saying to yourself, to what you need… and then determine if this relationship and this person is ‘right’ for you.