Here is the thing - I've watched so many wonderful, powerful, and committed women put themselves last. They get subsumed by helping their team, their employers, and co-workers, and at the end of the day they are just...trapped. Stuck in their suits with nothing left to give, and nothing to really nourish themselves.
The woman who was overweight and worked 80 hours a week - never making time for a date. The co-worker who showed up to every date late, and when she was there, all she was thinking about was work, not him.
If a man showed up late, stressed and unfocused on your date - would you want to see him again?
So if this is you, it's time to take a close look and figure out who you want to be - the woman who enjoys dates and has a relationship, or the woman who can't seem to find a man (or time for herself).
"Right Christie" you are probably saying in your head right now "Easier said that done. My job is hard and frustrating, and I don't have the time right now to do what I want."
Well - I'm here to tell you differently.
We spend over 3,000 hours a year at work, and unhappiness on the job leaks into every other aspect of our lives...especially our dating lives. But the good news? There are short AND long-term solutions! I promise :).
1. Before a date, block time on your calendar to decompress. Say whatever you want it to be "Meeting with client" "Prep work for meeting" or whatever makes you feel ok, but do it. Then you can't get overscheduled, if things run over you will have a few extra minutes handy to collect yourself, and you can take the time to take a few deep breaths.
2. Take a few deep breaths. Nothing calms you down and refocuses you more than breathing. And, I'm not talking about a quick in-and-out type of breath. I'm talking about sitting back in your chair, putting your hand on your stomach, and breathing in for a count of five and out for a count of five, and do it at least three times. Why? Well - it relaxes you, allows you to refocus, and takes away some of the "I'm tired and I feel like crap" feeling that otherwise might have walked out of the door with you.
3. Remind yourself that it will all be there tomorrow. Seriously, your job may be a drag now, and the (not-so) good news: it will be there to drag you down again tomorrow! But in this moment tonight, you can actually do something about it, and decide to let. it.
Another reason to be more addicted to your iPhone more than you were five minutes ago—it's what sets you apart from those sex deprived Droid freaks.
According to Match.com's Singles In America survey, 55 percent of iPhone users said they’d had sex at least once per month over the past year. For Android users, it was 51 percent. There's no app for that, folks. No wait, actually there's tons.
Does that annoying couple who can't keep their hands off each other at the dinner table happen to have a TV in their bedroom? Well, here's one more reason to hate them: they're having a sh*tload of sex.
A study found that those who have a television in their room get twice the action than those who do not. The reason, as you may guess, is that they can easily watch something erotic to get them in the mood. Take that, iPads.
"Just one of the guys" translates to "a woman who has lots of sex," says science. But no, she's not sleeping with these guy friends, her active sex life has to do with sexual rivalry.
A study, published in the Journal of Comparative Psychology, showed that men in relationships are more attracted to their partners when they think (even subconsciously) that they could be cheating on them. Go figure.
6. Miami Residents
If you were contemplating making the move to the city where the heat is (really) on, be assured you will be having a lot more sex—especially if you're from Minnesota.
According to Trojan's Degrees Of Pleasure study, Miami residents are having the most sex in the country. At 102 times a year, Miamians are 59 percent more sexually active than residents of Minneapolis-St. Paul. And the fun doesn't stop there—they also reported the nation's longest sex seshes: 35 minutes on average.
Another group who gets it on all the time? Artists and poets, It may not surprise you since artists are more liberal and progressive, but a 2005 study found that artistic communities have 233 percent more sexual partners than people who aren't artists or poets.
Could one of the worst habits for your health also be the secret to an active sex life?
A study found that smokers are 10 percent more sexually active than nonsmokers. And, those who drink and smoke are almost 200 percent more sexually active than those who do neither. Smokers these days are risk-takers and often light up to relax and look sexy—and I guess it's working. Though moving to Miami would be the healthier option.
All those ladies who have height on their list of dealbreakers, do you know what you're missing? Well, lots of sex for starters!
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine looked at the sex lives of heterosexual men who have steady female partners and found that the lucky dudes getting it on the most were 25-29, less than 172 lbs — and 5 foot 9 or under. See, size does matter. Bow chicka bow wow.
A study found that jews and agnostics are 20 percent more active in the bedroom than Catholics and Protestants, which makes sense because there tends to be more guilt associated with the Christian religions.
Another study found that over 2X as many observant married Jewish women have sex three to six times per week as married women in general. Mazel to that.
John Stamos, delicious yogurt, Santorini—just when you thought the Greeks had it all, science has to make us even more jealous with another fact—they're sex gods and goddesses.
Honestly, who cares about not winning the World Cup when your country can boast that their residents do it more than anyone across the globe!
A Durex survey revealed 87 percent of Greeks surveyed had sex at least once a week. Next up was Brazil (obviously) at 82 percent. As for the USA? We're pretty behind at 53 percent. Womp.