When what you thought you wanted career-wise isn't right anymore, but you can't break free...
Remember that first day of school, when you wore a new outfit, new shoes, and were excited about learning and playing with your friends?
And remember that first day on the new job at work, when you put on your high heels (or your nice tie) and showed up eager to see how you could make an impact?
And remember sitting at your desk in that same job, looking around, feeling exhausted, looking down, and wondering what happened to you. Asking yourself “When did I get so...resigned?”
“and ... tired.”
“and plain ... bored. I’m bored. *Sigh*”
And then you start to feel guilty. Guilty that you want to be doing SOMEthing else. ANYTHING else. And guilty that you spent so much time, and energy and money - putting so much into your education, your career, and yourself just to get HERE.
How did you end up wanting to leave?
How do you walk away from a good salary?
How do you justify staying when you are miserable?
And these thoughts spin inside your head, and you keep thinking that you should just be able to FIGURE IT OUT ALREADY.
It’s a terrible feeling, isn’t it?
Lonely, and sad, and frustrating. And nails on a chalkboard annoying.
I felt that way. I can remember sitting at my desk - looking around, and being so SO lonely when I felt like I was trapped in my suit. I felt like I was slowly drowning, but I could not open my mouth to scream.
I felt like if I left, I would never figure out how to pay my rent, or make a change. And because of that, I felt like I was waiting for my life to start.
And then a former colleague of mine died - he was my age and had a small wife and child. I can remember seeing him in the office in the summer, and by the winter he was dead of brain cancer. It happened so so fast. And it scared me, because it reminded me that I was wasting my life by showing up everday not present in my career, and I need to try and do SOMETHING new.
Hoping that things will change was not working for me. All it did was allow me the guilt-free space to watch bad TV and complain (Real Housewives, anyone?) So I decided to try something different, get off the couch, and at least take a stab at living my life, versus waiting for a magical fairy godmother to come across me and make my life beautiful.
I tried and failed a bunch of side projects (writing children's books when I don't have children? Not a brilliant plan on my part!) and I learned that to be successful, I’ve got to try, not worry about failing, and believe that I can do it. And most importantly, I've GOT feel connected to what “it” is.
And before you say it, trust me I know - figuring the "it" out can be the hardest part. If you knew - you’d be doing it already, right? Right.
Here is an exercise I want you to try (and suspend your disbelief and know that a solution is now on its way to you, but it may not arrive on your schedule. It’s a process - but one that works!).
-Take a deep breath. Breath in and out through your nose, on a five count, and keep your hand on your stomach. Think about the top three work things that make you smile. Anything that really brings joy to your face (working with people? Writing reports? Figuring things out? What?)
-When you are finished thinking and breathing (good job!) write them down.
-Grab a friend and a glass of wine - brainstorm how you can do more of these things.
-Be fun, be silly, be free. Now take a look at this list - what appeals to you that also seems like something you can take action on? Start there!
Ok this is a process, but sometimes all you need is momentum to move forward. One step, even a baby one, is still a step, right?
And if you want more support (and to find out all of my secrets!) then sign up for my group coaching class starting on November 5th. It’s a teleclass, so you can call in from the safety of your pajamas, in your own home. And, more importantly, magically watch your life start to change!
Click here for more information (As a bonus, you’ll get a free class on how to FIRE Your Job Fears!)