When to Have Sex in a Relationship


When to Have Sex in a Relationship
When is the right time for sex when you are looking for a long term relationship?

Why does this matter?

Well, your oxytocin levels don’t care if he is not a good match. They sense that there is procreating going on and immediately tell your body and mind to BOND to this potential deliverer of sperm. Your system will literally release chemicals that will get you stir crazy over a chap who may be a horrible match or worse yet, completely unavailable.


Madonna Whore Complex Also, men tend to idealize their potential girlfriends. They like to think that their girl has never had sex with anyone else, even though they might know that is not true. Therefore, if you have an awesome date and you both do the “do” that night, he could get in his head and wonder if you are doing the “do” with every guy on the first date and subconsciously shift you from GF material to DTF material. This is a male issue, but nevertheless, good to know as a woman.

I’d say, above all else, is that any guy looking for a relationship will have no problem waiting on the sex thing. If you feel most comfortable waiting till a commitment or at least until you feel much more secure, he will love it. If he is looking for casual sex, he will not be so excited and probably exit Stage Right-which helps you get one step closer to the one who is looking for something more long term.

When you rush the sex part, you can cloud your assessment of the magical 3 C’s in a relationship. You might be able to see if the CHEMISTRY is happening, but what about the COMMUNICATION and COMPATABILITY? The incredible and mind blowing bedroom sessions can easily blind you to some major red flags in your partner.

There are definitely no rules in finding love. You can have sex within the first two hours of meeting a blind date and end up running away to Fiji and getting married. However, if you are looking to increase the ways to attract and develop a healthy relationship, why not try going a little slower in the sex department to allow for a more unadulterated focus on the other aspects of the relationship? Any man ready for a relationship will appreciate it and your mammalian sisters will support you all the way.

Seize the Date,


Article contributed by
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Date Coach Christian Anderson

Dating Coach

Christian Anderson

Dating Strategist

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