When a man calls very last minute to ask you out on a date, it's easy to turn him down. You've got plans. You have a life. You don't have time to sit around and wait on him. Fair enough.
But what's it costing you? If you're not available or spontaneous to date, you could lose a quality man. It's a missed opportunity.
Now if you're thinking, "He should call before" or "I don't want to seem too available." I get it. It's nice to plan ahead. It's great when he calls in advance. But there's something you should know … Men often make last minute plans because that's how their brains work. Generally, they can only think of one thing at time. So if he's been working, working, working and finishes, he shifts his thoughts to play and that's when he thinks about you …
- How much fun it would be to see you...
- How he'd love to see you laugh ...And that's when he calls.
And if you're not available, you risk him asking out someone else. He could see your being unavailable as his not being your priority and move on. And there's nothing worse than the thought of the "coulda-been-your-man" in the arms of another woman. If you don't already, start making agreements with your friends and family when you make a future plan. Tell them in advance how meeting a man is important to you and that you need time to date. That may mean breaking plans if you need to be available. Then ask if it's ok with them?
Your supportive friends will get it and be flexible. Your unsupportive friends won't. They'll get angry and leave. (See ya!) Your Mom may challenge you with putting a new man before seeing her. But if you wanna meet and marry your man, you gotta say YES to the man and NO to your Mom and friends when opportunity presents.
Now if his calling at the last minute gets to be a habit…say three or four times, you can talk to him about what makes you feel more comfortable. Tell him you feel better when you have more advance notice.
Say something like, "I appreciate your inviting me out and I'm always happy to see you. However, if you continue to ask me out at the last minute, you risk the possibility that I won't be available. I also like knowing in advance so I can plan and look forward to seeing you. Do you think you can give me a few days notice for when you want to see me?"
He'll tell you if he's willing to call you in advance. Then wait and see if he does. If he honors his agreement, he's a quality man.
More dating tips on YourTango: