7 Things Men Fear Most

man examining his hairline
Love, Self

He may never admit he worries about anything, but trust us, he does.

5. Am I losing my health/do I have cancer? Whether it's a result of pure procrastination or the invasive tests/probes, many men hate the doctor — until it's something that cannot be avoided. At the same time, he is worried … he just doesn’t want to know.

How you can help: Remind him that if he wants to see his grandkids' grandkids graduate, he needs to stay fit and get yearly checks. Then ... make it something you do together (OBGYN/pap smear, anyone?)

6. Is my significant other sexually satisfied? This issue is tricky. He wants to know that he's "doing his job" in bed, but he doesn't want to know if he's not. Male ego hinged on sexual prowess, virility and skills are surely part of the reason we have Viagra for sale via mail order but male birth control is (mostly) in the testing phase.

How you can help: Talk to him ... sensitively. If he's not doing it for you, don't tell him what he's doing wrong, talk to him about what you like (bonus points if you say it in a breathy voice, horizontally sans clothing). The more fun/no biggie you make things, the less likely he will be to get a bruised ego. And the payoff with what you do like will increase, because he will know and he will want to.

7. Am I a good dad/will I be a good dad? If he's considering taking the plunge into fatherhood (or is already a father), most men worry about their ability to: 1) Pass on what they know; 2) Not pass on the bad parts of their parents/fathers/childhood experiences; and 3) Be a balanced/fun/strict/good dad.

How you can help: There's no rulebook for parenting; it's a tough gig. Talk to him about your fears about you (because women worry about motherhood, even if nurturing comes naturally for most) and ask him about his fears. By sharing your similar issues, you can make it safe for him to be vulnerable.

Above all, women need to know that a man's fears are his, and nothing she can do will make him face/get through/get over them. He has to firstly acknowledge the fear and then start down the path of dealing with them. While she can create an environment that makes it safe for him to discuss things, it is still his choice to do so. It's not her job to make him do it, nor is it her failure if he chooses not to. All she can do is be there ... but she can't force.


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