A Cure for Relationship Complacency: Lingerie

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A Cure for Relationship Complacency: Lingerie
Keeping the spark alive in long-term relationships can be challenging. Here's how for less than $50.

Bras and G-strings, teddies and baby dolls, negligees, corsets and bustiers, and role-play clothing (nurses outfits and the like) ... lingerie can take on many meanings. From sexy to risque to kinky — it is completely based on the wants/needs of the couple. So what is it about leather and/or lace that moves the proverbial meter for men?

When it comes to men, the reasons range from primal to romantic. For some, feeling like she did something especially for him can be flattering ... and lingerie offers him a glimpse (and only a teasing glimpse) of the woman he loves as only he sees her. And with all that daily life brings us, it can be hard to keep that sense of "newness" and romance ... and something sexy can be a welcome addition to the bedroom.

But it's not just men who get a positive charge out of lingerie. As I've stated many times—on this Fan Page and in my book The Problem with Women… is Men—women are women first, and wives/mothers/girlfriends second... and they want to keep their femininity up-front-and-center... not as an afterthought. Some women wear something sexy under their everyday clothes to feel sexy throughout the day (as do some men... but that's a subject for a different article). According to the women I've spoken with, it only gives them more confidence, they feel more empowered. And wearing something sensual and revealing for an evening between the sheets can add to anticipation, and eliminate humdrumish feelings of work/kids/house/finances/etc.

Keep in mind, though, that lingerie is an extension of a couple's sensuality and sex life. If someone comes home with a gift you're not into (barbed wire, anyone?), you might need to guide things a little. A suggestion might be to go shopping for lingerie together. If you both end up in the dressing room together—trying things on and taking them off—beware of salespeople and mall cops, as they may not be forgiving if you are found in flagrante delicto. But taking your significant other shopping with you kills two birds with one stone: anticipation will be at a high for that evening, and they'll know that the Cat 'o Nine Tails you were thinking about purchasing might not be your speed.   

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Charles J. Orlando

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