So… here’s the REAL truth: Cheating is always a choice. Those that claim it was “an accident” or offer any other reason are completely and totally FULL. OF. IT. They are choosing to cheat for one simple reason: Selfishness. They care more about the sex they can get, rather than their significant other, whose trust they are betraying. And this is betrayal… a special betrayal saved for a man’s spouse or girlfriend.
How is it special? Because men usually don’t betray their best friends this deeply… just the women they promise to love. Simply put, these are men without honor. If you're going to cheat, give the common courtesy to the other party that you would demand yourself: Leave the relationship. I’ve told men as much and many say, "It's not that simple." Well... if it's not simple, then perhaps you might think about what strange place you want to put your junk into before you do it… just sayin’.
Please note that I say all this as a man who has had more than ample opportunity to cheat. While writing my book, I met with over 1,200 women (and have spoken with thousands more since its publishing), with many of these meetings happening over a meal, or other private-ish locations—but all away from my wife. Have I ever been tempted? Sure… I’d be liar if I didn’t admit that many of these women were attractive (with many openly flirting with me). But there was no chance I would ever cheat. If I made that choice, my wife may not have known, but I would have. I would have had to look her in the eye—my wife, my friend—knowing that I had recently humiliated her, devalued our relationship, and sacrificed my honor. Sorry… not this guy.
Evidently, some men can work out in their heads that cheating is “just what guys do.” Yeah, okay… who you trying to convince, pal; me… or you?… because we both know you’re full of it. Just sayin'.
Men, here’s the bottom-line: If you want to be married, be married. If you want to sleep with other people, talk about it—or at least have the common decency to leave her first. There’s no need to transform yourself into a douche bag while you trample on her self-esteem. And ladies, I would never suggest that once-a-cheater, always-a-cheater… but before you take him back because you “love him so much”, you need to think about how much you love and value YOU.
Because by cheating on you, he just showed you how much he doesn’t care.