One of the best things that marriage allows a person to do is become completely comfortable with another person. For women, it just seems too easy to feel so comfortable with their husbands that they think they can say whatever they want to their man. What many women don't understand is the things they say, and how they say them, can have some undesirable effects on their relationship. While it is important for you to express your concerns to your husband, doing it in an insensitive manner can hurt his feelings — and may even damage your marriage. That's why you should learn the skill of speaking kindly.
Here are some of the worst statements you should avoid uttering to your husband.
1. "It was good." (Even though you didn't enjoy it)
It's never a good idea to lie to your partner, particularly when it's about sexual satisfaction or intimacy. If you think that pretending to be satisfied with sex will spare your husband from getting offended, you're totally wrong. As a matter of fact, doing this can even push him away. When your husband asks if you had an orgasm, it's likely that he feels there's something wrong. By lying to him, he might feel that you're not interested in doing it again. Appreciate the fact that he's concerned with how you're feeling. And during any casual conversation with him, talk about the things you can both try to do have a more enjoyable experience.
2. "You're exactly like your father."
You should definitely avoid comparing your husband to his father, especially if you intend to criticize him, because this is belittling and extremely nasty. If your husband has some things you want him to work on, never try to insult him, but instead, make a reasonable and polite request. Always think of a decent way to make him understand what you want to say without hurting his pride or feelings.
3. "Aren't you going to get a new job soon?"
If you really want your husband to get a new job, you must have a special reason. Perhaps his current job demands too much of his time, or his salary is just not enough to support your family's needs. In short, it's actually you who has issues about his job. Be very careful in telling him about his ability to provide for your family. The last thing you want to do is hurt his ego and let him lose his confidence. What you should focus on more is how you both can make necessary changes to your lifestyle to avoid any problems with your finances. What's important is for you not to put all the blame on him, and instead show support in whatever decisions or career moves he should make.
In our current society where people are always in a hurry to do and accomplish things, it becomes more and more difficult for couples to spend some quality time together and to build a good foundation of respect and trust as loving unit. Communication is key in staying connected to your partner.
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