Rejected: Why Your Acts Of Love Aren't Appreciated


rejected woman
Why do people misinterpret our acts of love?

Sally is allergic to strawberries and she's used to Johnny picking on her. So she sees this as a mean joke and turns up her nose at them.

Just as Sally easily interpreted this as a prank, Johnny can easily take this as a sign of rejection. He can feel like his gift of love isn't good enough and may feel ashamed and hurt. Adults have this same problem. To a husband, washing the car may seem like a sweet gift to give his wife, but she might just be frustrated that he spent two hours outside "playing" when she really cared about getting the grass mowed.


So what's the solution here? As adults, we can share our intentions and feelings verbally, even if we're shy. If we offer our "Sally" strawberries, we can do it with a note or the words, "I wanted to get you something special, I hope you like these." When we let one other know that we're sharing a gift of love, we help our loved ones understand where we're coming from. This prevents a lot of misunderstandings and can actually make the gift feel sweeter to the recipient.

If you feel too shy to express your feelings openly, remember that everyone has their own insecurities. And if that person rejects you? As scary as it sounds, it's best to know if you need to move on before you invest more emotional energy him/her. You may not need to try any harder … you just need to accompany your acts of love with honest, openly expressed feelings. That way, there's no confusion about your loving intentions.

Start using a Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to heal feelings of rejection. EFT — or "tapping", as many people call it — soothes the parts of our brains that react strongly to painful memories, experiences and fears. It works by gently tapping on acupressure points while you focus on what you're feeling and what you'd like to create.

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