Some people handle frustrations better than others.
Why is that? They seem more focused and confident, less blaming and more committed to dealing with the sources of their frustrations so they can get on with it—whatever “it” is. They act as if they hear the Rocky music in their heads when frustration hits. More times than not, they fix the situation and get back to feeling good about things. What are they doing? How do they resist the alluring pay-offs of feeling frustrated? What is it that makes them decide to take positive action? [EXPERT]
In general, it’s because they have a strategy, a plan or an approach that works for them. They also tend to be optimistic that a solution is doable. The following is an alternative to staying frustrated. Next time you’re feeling frustrated make a new decision to “deal with it right away.” As soon as you recognize that feeling in the pit of your stomach, stop everything and ask yourself these questions: How am I contributing to this situation? What can I do differently to make myself feel better? Who could help me with this? These questions will open up new possibilities and disengage any negative cycle of blaming and avoiding. [EXPERT] Alternatives to staying frustrated. What are the options?
If you’re willing to do something about the source of your frustration, what’s next? What are your choices? This is where creativity and possibility thinking becomes powerful. Ask yourself these 3 questions: “How can I accept the situation and reframe my view of this situation so it no longer bothers me?” “What can I do to change this situation so it will no longer be frustrating?” “Do I need to stop doing something or leave this situation?” [EXPERT]
A simple example.
How can I accept the situation and reframe my view of it so it no longer bothers me? Ex: If you’re frustrated by the long, morning commute, could you begin to listen to books on tape? Create a car pool? Splurge on a CD player for better music? If you can find something else to do during that time, the commute will stay the same but you’ll be enjoying the time and therefore the frustration will lessen or disappear. [EXPERT]
What can I do to change this situation so it will no longer be frustrating? This calls for some creativity to come up with new choices that could work. Ex: In the same commuting frustration. If you can’t reframe the situation, what other possibilities could you create? Change the route? Work from a new location? Work from Home? Get a car you love to drive? If you find a choice you like, create an action plan and get busy. [EXPERT]
Do I need to stop doing something or leave this situation? Unfortunately society can judge stopping or leaving something as quitting. For those of us with that internal or external critic, stopping or leaving a situation, even after you have done all that you can do, takes courage. Sometimes this is the healthiest and best option. [EXPERT]