Try this: “Don’t you hate it when you do something nice for someone and they don’t say anything about it? Me too and I’m SO sorry! I really do appreciate what you did for me/gave to me.” This direct, sincere and non-defensive comment usually clears the air.
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Get good at receiving!
As we reflect on our ability to receive, we’ll surely realize that we missed a chance or two to practice gracious receiving. Fortunately, awareness brings the opportunity for change and to make new choices. Rather than beating ourselves up for the past (a well-worn path and non-productive use of time and energy), we can choose to forgive ourselves, apologize where applicable and then turn our attention to becoming excellent receivers from this day forward. [EXPERT]
This skill gets easier with practice. Why? Because it feels so good to have such a positive impact on people. Birthdays and the upcoming holidays give us lots of opportunities to master our receiving skills. While its true that feeling valuable and worthy may not be line items on anyone’s gift list, these are basic human desires. As we realize we have the ability to instill these feelings in others, we can look for opportunities to do so.
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Next time you find yourself with a chance to receive and therefore have some positive impact on another-consciously give it a whirl! Although they may not know why they feel so good, you’ll know and that’ll put a smile on your face as well. Isn’t it kind of ironic (and wonderful) that each time we graciously receive a gift or act of kindness; we’re also able to give one in return?! The saying, “It’s better to give than to receive,” has been drilled into our heads since we were kids but I think a more accurate phrase might be, “It’s joyful to give and very thoughtful to receive.” May you find both generous giving and gracious receiving equally energizing and joy-filled activities anytime of the year.
Copyright 2002 Cathryn Bond Doyle.
Revised for YourTango.com 2012, Copyright Cathryn Bond Doyle