I think part of why I am still married after over 13 years is because we remain happily child free. I never bought into that "women can have it all" mentality, and it was for one simply fact; growing up, I didn't know one single, "happy" family. I had plenty of friends whose parents seemed to be really loving and close, but their kids never seemed to be very happy, or even all that close to their parents. Alternatively, I knew teens who seemed to be fairly happy and well adjusted, but they didn't have the most functional family life either. For me, I got the distinct impression very early on that a happy marriage and happy kids were mutually exclusive. I was pleasently surprised to find a few exceptions to my rule later on in life, but I am certain my point of view was already very well established.
So growing up, I guess I just really hoped that I would somehow find someone to marry who I truly loved, admired, and (do NOT underestimate this) genuinely liked as a human being. To me, settling for anything or anyone less would not have even been an option. And, lucky for me, I actually found that person junior year of college!
Catherine Toyooka is the founder of Catherine Coaches, a completely unique consulting business offering both confidential and professional dating and sex coaching to individuals in Silicon Valley and San Francisco. Catherine has been conducting sex positive workshops in the San Francisco Bay Area since 2002, and is a Brand Ambassador and Sex Educator with Good Vibrations.
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