Would You Marry A Man Who Says No Thanks To Sex?

By

Would You Marry A Man Who Says No Thanks To Sex?
Can it be True Love without a highly charged sex life? Here are the questions to ask yourself.

"I am deeply in love with a man who is content with no sex Well, not really NO sex, just way less than I want.  Help!  How can this be?  How can I feel red hot chemistry toward him and he not feel it?

I love the Law of Attraction and have been using common techniques like affirmations and visualizations but nothing is working.  I get plenty aroused in the visualizations so there is no shortage of feeling there, but nothing changes.  To say I am frustrated is the understatement of the century."

This email got my attention today.  Being in my fabulous fifties, I have a pretty good 20/20 hindsight idea or two to share.  When I was in my 20's and 30's, I would say that sex was certainly a highlight but I was immature and had zero language to nurture and expand into it. 

Because of poor communication, a Catholic upbringing and being touched improperly as a child, my sexuality was compromised pretty tightly.  A divorce at 50 sent me on a search for love again and the second time around I see that there is a natural delivery channel for love.

Sex, Romance, Orgasm and Affection are all perfectly designed channels of an efficient Love Delivery system.  When you are looking for a long term partner, emphasis on long term, you have to see these four channels as equally powerful in eliminating loneliness from your life.

Don't be fooled, lonely single people become lonely married people.  It is all about connection.  When these four channels are open and flowing between you and your partner, you will feel loved, cared for and content.

Notice that nowhere in the above description is "hot, frequent, curl your toes, wild, screaming sex."  There is no question that sexuality as it is portrayed on TV is easy, accessible, without consequences and most often filmed beautifully.  Each scene crafted carefully by wizards of marketing to hook you on the feel good reaction to the imaginary world before you in living color.

The fact is that hot sex is over rated when it comes to feeling loved and cared for.  At 58 after a challenging bout with rectal cancer and below the waist radiation making vaginal penetration impossible and my husbands variable midlife libido we always connect on many levels in order to make sure we each feel loved.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.