to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

5 Questions To Ask Before Ending Your Relationship

By . Posted on .

5 Questions To Ask Before Ending Your Relationship [EXPERT]
Find out if your relationship is worth salvaging before throwing it away.
Are you staying for the stuff?

4. Do you have a passion? Seriously. What is your passion outside of romance? Do you have a charity you support? My hubby volunteers with the cats at the shelter, socializing the kittens and getting them ready for adoption. Many others find a lot of pleasure and love with animals because they are often so much easier to love than people!

You need passion. Before you leave your relationship, work at finding a passion outside your current interests. Pour yourself into something that feeds your soul. What hobby did you enjoy 20 years ago? Why did you quit? Chances are your partner is feeling the stress of your needing him to be everything to you.

More from YourTango: What Is 'Honey Sex' And Why Is It Bad For You?

5. How nice is the stuff? This is a serious subject, and sometimes the loss of the stuff is considerable. When I divorced, I had a friend say to me, "I could never do what you are doing. I would lose too much."

Sometimes the stuff of life keeps you in longer than you should be there. No one can tell you how happy you are, or how happy you should be. All I can tell you is that when you approach your 50s, you need to be exceedingly careful before you move on. If you live in comfort, have companionability, and a reasonably good communication system, there is only one more thing you need to know so that you can stay ... at least for now.

If you and your mate are considering parting ways, it is a serious thing for both of you. The one ingredient that I believe you must have to make it work is collaboration. Webster's defines collaboration as "the act of working with another on a joint project." Without collaboration, there is little chance your relationship will last. You have a joint project, whether you like it or not. The joint project is your coupleness, as you define it.

Review the five keys and make a date with yourself to seriously consider your current situation. If you still want to co-create something that works with your partner, recommit yourself to communicating that to him. If you need to, talk to a coach, mentor, pastor, or a good friend. Make a plan on how to impress upon your partner that creating a collaborative effort to jump start your withering relationship is your number one priority, and then act on that plan. 5 Steps To A Happier Relationship

Have you ever stayed for the stuff? Is it worth it? Comment below and let us know where you stand.

More from YourTango: Desperate Debbie & 9 More Women That Turn Men Off

Click here for a "Should I Stay or Should I Go" psychic reading.

Recent Expert Posts
Smooch

Your Kiss is On My Lips

Five Horrible Kisses

Tux

Molding Gentlemen: What Attracts A Man To A Woman

3 feminine qualities that make men feel comfortable coming closer

empty nest: relationship advice for parents and their adult children

No More Empty Nest: When Your Adult Children Move Back Home

Your kids graduated school and now they're moving back home ... now what?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS