3. Are you at home in your home? If you feel comfortable in your surroundings and are free to express yourself at home with music, art and food, you have something very valuable. Some tell me they are bored because there is not enough fireworks or excitement. I get that, but you can always take sky diving lessons or take an improv class if you want to get your adrenaline running.
Be very careful what you define as boring. Living in peace with another person can be extremely fulfilling when you release that person from having the responsibility to supply the juice that gets your heart beating. Having peace with your partner can truly bring passion to your life.
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4. Do you have a passion? Seriously. What is your passion outside of romance? Do you have a charity you support? My hubby volunteers with the cats at the shelter, socializing the kittens and getting them ready for adoption. Many others find a lot of pleasure and love with animals because they are often so much easier to love than people!
You need passion. Before you leave your relationship, work at finding a passion outside your current interests. Pour yourself into something that feeds your soul. What hobby did you enjoy 20 years ago? Why did you quit? Chances are your partner is feeling the stress of your needing him to be everything to you.
5. How nice is the stuff? This is a serious subject, and sometimes the loss of the stuff is considerable. When I divorced, I had a friend say to me, "I could never do what you are doing. I would lose too much."
Sometimes the stuff of life keeps you in longer than you should be there. No one can tell you how happy you are, or how happy you should be. All I can tell you is that when you approach your 50s, you need to be exceedingly careful before you move on. If you live in comfort, have companionability, and a reasonably good communication system, there is only one more thing you need to know so that you can stay ... at least for now.
If you and your mate are considering parting ways, it is a serious thing for both of you. The one ingredient that I believe you must have to make it work is collaboration. Webster's defines collaboration as "the act of working with another on a joint project." Without collaboration, there is little chance your relationship will last. You have a joint project, whether you like it or not. The joint project is your coupleness, as you define it.
Review the five keys and make a date with yourself to seriously consider your current situation. If you still want to co-create something that works with your partner, recommit yourself to communicating that to him. If you need to, talk to a coach, mentor, pastor, or a good friend. Make a plan on how to impress upon your partner that creating a collaborative effort to jump start your withering relationship is your number one priority, and then act on that plan. 5 Steps To A Happier Relationship
Have you ever stayed for the stuff? Is it worth it? Comment below and let us know where you stand.