You are together for a reason. If it is over, fine, you'll move on and get over it, but if you can reconnect to your man after a major fight you will empower yourself to make a truly clear choice about whether you want to keep building a future with him. There are a lot of single women out there looking and you should think long and hard about ending a relationship too early. Do You Fight Like A Couple Headed For Divorce?
So, here's what to do. Here is my 5 step love repair process that will build a bridge back to him. By doing this exercise yourself, you will begin to repair your perception of who he is as a man and a partner. This is an advanced technique and gets very fast results.
1. Sit in a chair with your back erect and your feet on the floor. Take a couple of deep breaths and let your eyes close naturally. Allow physical tension to seep out of your body and into the chair you are sitting on. Imagine you are outside on a bright sunny day. Tip your face back and imagine the sun shining on your face.
2. Bring your attention to your heart. Think about your mate and the fight. Scan your upper body and see if you feel pressure, heat or pain anywhere in your chest or stomach. Put one hand on your heart and one hand on the place on your body where you feel the disappointment.
Breathe deeply and think this: Even though this sucks, it will get better. Even though a part of me is pissed, there's another bigger part of me that knows how to rise above this. Even though a part of me is so pissed at him, that jerk, there's another bigger part of me that is not. This is true, isn't it? Breathe.
3. When you start feeling better, think about your mate. When you think about him out there in the world, at work or play, what is something you like or admire about him? See if you can think of three or four characteristics that you like about him.
If you can't do this yet, go get a big glass of water and repeat step two. Look, you, a beautiful captivating and radiant being, picked him. Don't be hardcore about this. I am sure there are three or four things you still like about him. Grab your journal and write them down.
4. Pick one of his favorable characteristics to run through the love repair process. Let's say you use "loyal" for example. Write his name and your selection in a sentence. "Stephen is loyal, I like that about him." Say it a couple of times and see how it strikes you. If it feels a bit flat, you probably still have some snarkiness hiding in there. Don't worry, that's normal.
5. Next, allow yourself to recall a time when you saw his loyalty in action. It works best to pick someone outside your immediate family. When did you see him being loyal to someone? What did he do? Write the story of what he did and why his actions were memorable. As you write this story, see if you notice a difference in how the description feels compared to the statement in the last step.
What happened when you took time to find a loyal moment to recall? You created a love repair! When you think about something endearing about your mate, that means you took time to create a view of him that is radically opposite of his rat self that is showing up most of the time these days. I know it sounds crazy, but this love repair thing really works. If it doesn't, please don't give up or complain. Simply repeat steps one and two as many times as you need to before you can let yourself like your guy again.
Look, it is a big lonely world out there. 51% of the women in this country are single and want what you have with your man...fragile as that may be at the moment. No guy can get it right all of the time and if yours has screwed up, gently let him off the hook and reconnect heart to heart.