Hey Scarlett, Tired of Feeling Invisible? Stop Being So Nice!

By

Hey Scarlett, Tired of Feeling Invisible?  Stop Being So Nice!
Do you sabotage your love life by being too nice? 5 easy steps to shed the super sweet vibe.
"I thought we had something."
 
His voice shot up a register and she grit her teeth. Mia remembered how his deference charmed her in the beginning.  She loved how quiet and thoughtful he was.  Compared to her ex, he was a saint.
 
She liked that he came to her for their decisions as a couple...for a while.  Now his incessant whimpering made her skin crawl.  Broken-hearted and angry, the thought of another breakup sent her spiraling down a dark shadowy hole.  She felt trapped and lonelier than ever.
 
 
Are you in a dead end relationship?  Like Mia, have you needed to move on for way too long and you can't pull the trigger?  Are you afraid of attracting a passive aggressive man again?  Has it been so long since you met an exciting man that you wonder if you will ever find a match?  Your soul mate attraction plan may be being hijacked by your True Love Saboteur.
 
There is a part of every lonely single women that clings to being single and in spite of all odds, she gets her way.  Turns out the Saboteurs, Rapunzel, Scarlett O'Hara and Snow White, are tired of being single too.  When you dissolve your self sabotage, your love will unfold naturally.
 

I meet a lot of Scarletts who have been bullied by life into being a Snow White.  Passionate from an early age, Scarlett emotes poetically and dramatically.  Deeply inquisitive, a bit of an introvert when young and a sharp wit, she has always felt misunderstood.  This sets up a web of defensiveness that is hard for intimates to reach through.

Scarletts often find themselves alone on Saturday nights during their teens and twenties. In their view, the sweet girls get the guy.  Taking a vow to be sweet at all costs, these American Beauties squeeze themselves into a self imposed prison of patience.


Of course, little does she know that the Snow Whites of the world are trying to be like Scarletts. In their view, the smart sassy girls catch the hot guys attention.  Snow White hates confrontation and often feels pushed by Scarlett's stronger vibe, so it is hard for deep friendships to grow between the two.

Scarlett hates confrontation too, don't get me wrong, it is just that she has a much shorter fuse.  Snow White's fuse wraps all around the neighborhood and is generally so tangled, it can take her years to blow her top!  Snow Whites move slowly and methodically and that drives Scarlett crazy!

So, what is a Sweet Scarlett to do?   First order of business, she gets to stop being sweet.  It is time for her to realize that it is wearing her out to be that sweet.  Her love sabotage has taken the form of projecting an image different  than her nature.  That's just not sustainable.  So what can you do?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB