Despite my better judgment, I went with him to a family dinner where I was uncomfortable before we got out of the car.
When I got home after a two hours of stiff upper lip hanging in there, my throat, chest and jaws were throbbing. As painful as this was, I own it because I chose to go. I put my narcissistic husband's needs first and suffered through.
I am sharing this with you now because I want you to know that being with the wrong man is terrible. Excruciatingly and continually painful. What if it is the fear of that pain that is keeping you single?
When I hear the stories of lonely soulmates-to-be around the country, it is heart wrenching to hear how many believe they can have a relationship that won't break their hearts.
Life is heart breaking. It just is.
As a Snow White, expressing my anger and hurt is really hard. It is easier for me to write it for sure. That is why I pour out my heart in my writing. Writing helps me vent and learn how to manage the heart breaks of life. That really is the missing link, you know, heart break recovery....not heart break avoidance.
When I was young, I always thought that it was the other people who made me feel so awful. The pressure in my ears and jaw and the ache in my chest and throat is real. Being with certain people is wearing but now I know it is my reaction to them that is hurting my body...not them.
When you are afraid or anxious, your body will be giving you clues. Picking up on these physical signs will help you keep your intuition engaged. When your intuition is engaged, you can handle anything. When your body is in fight or flight, your intuition is turned off. You are being driven by your instincts which are only survival focused.
At the end of the day, there will always be times that you must go outside your comfort zone to accommodate your partner. Each Saboteur style has challenges in this area, but if you make a plan and anticipate these stresses, you can make it easier to navigate these choppy waters.
Snow White, you must say no in balance to your yeses. If you are in a relationship where your man is involved with his own children or his ex in law family, go to the events that you really want to go to. Be clear with your man that there are times you will gracefully decline. There will be times that you will love spending time doing your own thing while your man is doing his family thing. Your man will come into tune with you when you are true to yourself first.