Everyone is Somebody's Ex: Simple Steps to Breakup Recovery


Everyone is Somebody's Ex: Simple Steps to Breakup Recovery
Trouble forgetting your ex after your breakup? Did he cheat? Girlfriend, suck it up and move on.

“You come across as an ice queen, you know.” 

He said it to Jeanie so matter of factly it snapped her head back.  “What?” She whimpered back.  She had just listed the faults of her latest ex and the horrible breakup to her newest friendly bartender and expected him to rush to her defense.  The guy had cheated on her after all.  Jeanie, a Rapunzel, is always in the middle of drama and trauma.


“When you talk about your breakup, you are cold as steel.”

“Why wouldn’t I be. He CHEATED!” She hissed at him.

“Everyone gets hurt.  Everyone is somebody’s Ex.  I see the men look at you as you go on and on about how bad it is for you.  They go out of the way to stay out of your way. You come across as a bitch.”

Jeanie’s shoulders slumped.  As pissed off as she was at the bartender who was giving her the same line all his brother drink servers had told her in the past, she knew what he said was the truth.

If you are living day to day guarding yourself against heart break or can’t get your ex out of your mind, you could be projecting an "I'm not available" image. Living careful is no way to live.

Not only that, the “I’m ok being single” image or vibe is amazingly efficient at keeping the "right" type of man out of your experience. How do I know this to be true? Exactly, how many prospects with real potential have you dated in the last year? I rest my case!

Do your friends see you as cold or snarky?

If you think you might be sending out this "I am ok being single." vibe when you want to be sending a "I'm ready for a man with substance " vibe, it is wise to ask a couple of key questions:

1.  What is working in your life right now?  Scan the major life areas, friendships, creativity, career, finances, health, family, romance and life purpose.  Rank every area from 1 to 10.  As hard as it is, you must wrestle with your mind and choose to focus on the parts of your life that are better than the others.  It is your focus on what is working in your life that makes you seem warmer and more approachable.

2.  What are the advantages of being single? You might not come up with many at first, but as you work at it, I bet you surprise yourself. Once your list is complete, go through each item and decide mindfully whether or not you are negotiable on it.

This self reflection may be just what the doctor ordered in helping you discover why you are still single.  You are used to living alone and there may be some deal breakers that you need to undo.

3.  If you still don't see yourself as unapproachable, ask a close friend, coach or pastor to go through your list with you. Her view of your current state of affairs or lack of (sorry, couldn't resist) may add extra dimension to your self exploration.

This article was originally published at http://BreakupCandy.com. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Catherine Behan

Dating Coach

Who was the last person to break your heart?

Contact Catherine for a free soul mate attraction consultation.

Location: San Diego, CA
Credentials: EFT-CC, MS, Other
Other Articles/News by Catherine Behan:

Your Savvy and Sassy Guide to Sex Over 60


On the contrary, I am a grown up Catholic girl with 20 years of bible believing Christianity in my past. I simply find sex to be exhilarating after 60. Orgasm and pleasure are not what I thought they were when I was 20. Orgasm is a separate experience from love, relationship and yes, men. It's available to anyone, including singles. ... Read more

Can Sex Pheromones Bend the Laws of Attraction?


Up until recently it has been a mystery why certain humans are instantly attracted to one other. Heart dropping immediate magnetism that cannot be ignored or denied. Now science is backing up the phenomena of love or maybe lust at first site.  Turns out that the Laws of Attraction might bend a little when influenced by a biological substance ... Read more

Why The Law Of Attraction Is Not Bringing You Your Soulmate


Are you ready to give up on the Law of Attraction? Are you secretly annoyed at Esther Hicks and the rest of the LOA teachers because your results are disappointing? Can you manifest everything else except for love?  Here are real questions that I hear on my consultations: "I would never have attracted that kind of man into my ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular