3 Life-Changing Ways To Stop Being A Prisoner Of Your Own Mind

Rewire the way you think about yourself.

By Catherine Behan
Last updated on Dec 19, 2023

Photo: bbernard | Shutterstock

Two women eating takeout food on the hood of the car in the parking lot.

Your mind says, "Your skin is looser than it was." You never wear sleeveless shirts again.

"She should never have said that about me." You cut her off and lose a friend.

"Men cheat and leave you." You attract men who cheat and leave you again and again.

That's being your mind's prisoner.

If you have a constant stream of self-critical and self-mocking thoughts running through your head, your mind is creating chaos for you and destroying your dating confidence. If you have renegade self-destructive thoughts like:

Everyone judges me.
I can't trust anyone.
What's wrong with me?
I'll never find my soulmate.
All the good men are gay or married.
I hate online dating.
I need to lose 20 pounds before I date.
It's too late for me.

Your mind is bullying you, and it's time to change that!

Don't be your mind's prisoner — ACT. Here are some action steps to take control of your thinking and turn your life around.

Here are 3 life-changing ways to stop being a prisoner of your mind:

1. Acknowledge that your thoughts are part of the problem

Write down your description of your single life and how you feel about it. Repeat to yourself, Up until now, I didn't realize that my thinking about my single status has been hurting me.

2. Commit to owning your thoughts

Write down your description of your single life. I take 100 percent ownership of each of these thoughts. It may seem simplistic to do this part of the exercise. It is. That's purposeful. Repeating this simple commitment statement will start to turn your emotional energy toward resolution.

3. Teach yourself to think new thoughts

Now that you're committed to a new way of thinking, be gentle with yourself as you begin to change your language from one of defeat and disappointment to words of hope and resolution. Here are some turnaround examples for you:

Even though I feel judged, that doesn't mean that people are judging me.
Even though I feel like I can't trust anyone, I don't know that's true for sure.
Even though I feel like something is wrong with me, I choose to accept myself no matter what.
Even though I haven't found my soulmate yet, I choose to not give up.
Even though I know about no good men being available, the truth is I just haven't met the right person yet.
Even though online dating is hard and I don't like it, I have to admit that it works for some people, just not me.
Even though I want to lose weight before I date, I can still get out and do some volunteer work or join a gym and be friendly to the people I meet.
Even though a part of me believes it is too late, there's another part of me that's not giving up.

At the end of the day, your brilliant mind is always going to pump out ideas, concepts, and a constant stream of self-criticism.