He is smitten. But, can this Bachelor make it work with his Rapunzel? How To Disarm Love Sabotage.
I have a guilty pleasure.
I LOVE the Bachelor.
Now, don't get me wrong, I see the contrived nature of the show. I understand the unreality of reality TV. That doesn't stop my delight at watching these women handle their attraction to handsome Brad.
Last night was the finale. Brad picked Emily. Fascinating to watch as he went back and forth between Chantal (A Scarlett) and Emily a true blue Rapunzel. Brad, nearly 15 years older than Emily has a fragile beauty on his hands. Will it work?
Rapunzels are sweet and sensitive beauties who have a tremendous capacity for love. Viewers watched Emily's relationship with her daughter and how critical it was for her to feel comfortable letting Brad meet her.
It was painfully difficult for Emily to let Brad into the tower where she lives with her little girl. Emily even said, "I hope I don't sabotage my chances with Brad." Last night, she put her daughter's needs ahead of her own and used her concerns about his ability to handle fatherhood to push Brad away.
Brad, completely in love with Emily, stuck with her even though she frustrated him to no end when she wouldn't accept his word that he was ready to be a dad to her daughter.
This love sabotaging move didn't stop Brad from choosing her. He is smitten. But, can this Bachelor make it work with his Rapunzel? Here are some tips on how he can draw Rapunzel out of her tower and create a lasting bond:
How To Engage a Rapunzel:
1. Respect Her Tower: Rapunzel feels things deeply. Her physical and emotional sensitivity drives her to push people away unconsciously. She needs time every day to be alone. As a single mom, Emily has even more acute needs for this alone time than most.
2. Don't Freak Out When She Withdraws: If you pursue her into her tower, she will pinch your head off. Most Rapunzels are not aware of how taxing it is to be in relationship. They will simply and efficiently and sometimes passive aggressively get their alone time. Deeply lonely and yet excruciatingly sensitive to the emotional energy of others, Rapunzel can be her own worst enemy.
3. Don't Try To Cheer Her Up: Rapunzel doesn't like to wallow in her moodiness, despite how it looks. If you list all of the things she can do to brighten her spirits, it will backfire on you. She needs time to recover from overstimulation and if you press to be close to her, she will resist. The best thing to do is to ask her, "What do you need from me right now?" Then, honor whatever she says.
4. Let Her Come To You: If your Rapunzel has climbed back into her tower, the very best thing you can do is (now this is a bit woo woo, but it really works!) to IMAGINE yourself hugging her and telling her how much you love her. Get a picture of her when she is smiling and happy. Look into her eyes in the photo and tell her how important she is to you and how you will be waiting for her when she comes back out of her tower.
5. Be Careful Not To Smother Her: Rapunzel is very independent. Life has taught her that no one can be relied on and she is distrustful of men, suspicious and hurting. Encourage her to step out on her own and find a passion separate from you where her gifts and talents are appreciated. If she feels crowded and controlled, she will close her heart to you. Rapunzel may seem a bit high maintenance, but don't give up! She has so much love to give!
In Emily's case, the loss of her first true love in an airplane accident jolted her self protection into hyper-drive. She has focused all of her love and attention on her daughter and at 24, she has been frozen in time emotionally since her loss.
Can Brad thaw out his beauty? Time will tell, but if he honors her Rapunzel nature, he will have a much better chance! It is clear that Emily is cautious and guarded and yet cares for Brad deeply. Will Brad and Emily overcome Love Sabotage and find the magic that Jason and Molly and Trista and Ryan have found? Stay tuned.....
Curious about Rapunzel? Wonder about your Love Sabotage style? Take the Love Sabotage Survey and find out: Http://budurl.com/lovesabotage