Before you get too involved, read this.
Have you invested time in a man only to painfully discover he simply couldn’t cut it for the long term? Know the signs that tell you whether a man is ready for a relationship... before you get too involved.
Many women talk about dating a "mature man". What they’re really referring to is "emotional maturity". An emotionally mature man is a man who won’t shut you out the minute things get stressful in his life.
Emotionally mature men are willing to show their feelings. More importantly, they’re able to allow the woman in their life to "see" them, even when they’re going through a difficult time.
But how can you tell whether a man is emotionally mature and will stick it out with you through the inevitable ups and downs in every relationship?
In order to know if he's ready for a relationship, you need to look at how he handles three key areas in his life:
1. His work
Is the man able to handle adversity, criticism, or even intense politics at work and remain level headed, relatively calm, or even compassionate?
Or is he spiteful, does he talk about problems instead of thinking about solutions and how to improve personal dynamics in his work life and relationships?
Compassion and the ability to handle complex mental and emotional situations without coming unglued or doing negative or harmful things to other people is one of the best signs of emotional maturity — and sensitivity as well.
2. His friends
What type of people does a man spend his time around?
It has been said that you can know all you need to know about a person simply by looking at the people in his life. A man’s closest friends and peers are one of the very best windows into his mental and emotional world.
Are his friends people of integrity? Are they doing positive things with their lives and committed to living a good life?
And are a man’s friends capable of being in mature and committed relationships? Does he have any married friends who have stable relationships where both partners are relatively happy and fulfilled?
Men spend most of their time with people whose values they share.
3. His family
How does a man handle his relationships with his family members?
Sure, many people have challenging family situations, but whether a guy’s parents are together or not don't really tell anything about him. It’s more important whether or not he’s on a stable emotional footing in the way he relates to his parents.
Fighting intensely with parents, high and low emotional swings or completely estranged situations without a clear reason are signs of deeper unresolved emotional turmoil. It could mean that he will have trouble being there and being present and stable with you emotionally.
What is the best approach to getting the answers you need from him?
You can find out a great deal about a man’s emotional maturity level in conversation. All you have to do is start talking about your friends, family, and work and ask him about these three areas in his life one at a time.
When he answers, dig a little deeper and try and get him talking about how he FEELS about these things. How does he FEEL about the people at work and his family?
Get him to talk about his friends, to tell you what he likes about them and what makes them tick. You’ll be surprised by how much a man will share about who he is and how he lives his life — if you simply ask.
Not only will you learn if he has the emotional maturity it takes to make a relationship work for the long haul, but you’ll create the kind of communication that brings two people closer together... and builds a solid foundation for the future.
If you’ve ever wanted to know what a man really thinks about dating and commitment, subscribe to Christian’s free e-newsletter. He’ll reveal the kind of qualities a man can’t help falling for in a woman and what it takes to make him give up his "single" freedom for the love of just one woman…for the long term.
This article was originally published at Christian Carter. Reprinted with permission from the author.