Divorce, Emotions & Healing

By

Divorce, Emotions & Healing
Feeling that you are the victim of your circumstance in divorce comes up often.

Feeling that you are the victim of your circumstance in divorce is one of the things that comes up unless you're taking ownership. It's always a two way street, it's like what do you take responsibility for, because it's never just about one person, it's always about the collective, the two, if you're in a partnership or relationship.

Look at both sides and even though it's hard to look at both sides, like OK, "what was my part in this?" and just stick to what was my part in this? "How did I create this? And why did I create it?"

Sometimes the answers don't always come right away. It's like I'm not sure why I created this to be so because divorce was not my plan, having to move into my own space again was not my plan wow, "what do I do"? "And how do I work that"? And the biggest thing I think is just sitting and saying "where to now"? "Where to now"?

And really it's a moment by moment process, and those moments will start adding up. Pretty soon it's like a couples of weeks pass and then a month passes, six months pass and everything continually shifts.

I'm not saying that is easy, not saying that it's not energy because it is. There's a certain amount of energy that goes into staying focused on "OK, what can I do right now? What can I do right now, right now, and right now?" And taking a deep breath and finally saying that.

Whether it's activities or being around this special group of friends or whatever it is, that keeps that positive energy. Sometimes I know for me when I'm going through something like that, I go into hibernation. And if I equate myself, I'm a Scorpio so I equate myself to really being a Scorpio, if there's something I feel out of alignment with myself or something that's not quite right, it's like I don't want to be out there in the world, being influenced by other people's energy.

So I go internal and I go "OK, what's going on and how can I shift this? What do I need to do to shift this? What are the things that make me feel good? What are the things that make me happy? What part of myself do I need to take care of right now?"

And if a relationship doesn't work out, we need to look back and see, what worked, what didn't and hmmm, what can I do different next time.

You know, regaining self worth after a divorce is a tough one, I mean it's really a tough one because we always take it that there's something wrong with me, there's something wrong with me and this happened and what's wrong with me? And we all do it, we're human, so we all do that and like I said before I think it's just, I know for me, like when I feel not my strongest, not my most powerful, I think what things do make me feel strong? What things do make me feel powerful?

It's like what approval can I give to myself and doing my best to look at it from a positive aspect as opposed to the negative. I do a lot of spiritual work on myself, just kind of going in and sort of rehashing not rehashing, but getting into what is that belief? Where does that come from? And how can I create that energy and releasing that energy and going forward with what makes me feel really good.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB